I can't honestly say
what I'm trying to accomplish
by spelling out
your name
while bent over the bathroom sink;
short, hot breaths
fogging up the mirror
and the skin around my knuckles
stretching, sparking up bright
white stars
under the chapped surface.
The truth is,
I am running on empty
and broke from spending
all of my sense on you;
one thing
no amount of money
could buy me back.



Copyright ©  2015 Alyssa Packard
All Rights Reserved

Mommy always said
I had expensive taste
I guess that's why
your champagne skin
left me drunk
with the empty bottle dangling from my limp fingers.
I must ask,
do you think of me still?
Cover your lips with
honey
before you answer;
sugarcoat it as best you can.
43
tiring days later
and I have yet to master
being able to say your name
under a relaxed jaw.
I wonder if this will get
any easier
to accept; until then,
cheers
to those intoxicating bubbles
soaking up
in your bones' winter quilt.
I'll leave you a glass on the table.



Copyright ©  2015 Alyssa Packard
All Rights Reserved

they say I'm
a joke
and I wish you would've
stuck around
to hear the punchline.



Copyright ©  2015 Alyssa Packard
All Rights Reserved

you turned me into ashes;
                     *I'm turning you into poetry.



Copyright ©  2015 Alyssa Packard
All Rights Reserved

I hate to break this
to you, my dear
but you are no bigger
than the dust
on my bathroom floor
and you say you
still care, but I know
you always
wanted her more.*



Copyright ©  2015 Alyssa Packard
All Rights Reserved

tell me how it felt to
watch her put her lips on another.
tell me how it felt to
fall on your knees, and
pray to God
half sober
with the kitchen light on.
tell me how it felt to
wake up the next afternoon
with beer stains on your collar
and ash in your teeth.
tell me how it felt to
stack those bricks around your bones and fight anyone
who got too close.
tell me how it felt
when you met me;
face softened, jaw unclenched,
pulse steady.
tell me how it felt
when you let me in,
how the fires felt
burning away every piece of armor shielding your weaknesses
and you were without water
to put it out.
tell me how it felt to
let me go;
did it leave you scorched in the flesh
and heavy in the head?

my apologies,
that was me.





Copyright ©  2015 Alyssa Packard
All Rights Reserved