I would be lying if I said
it didn't bother me that you were smiling
because of someone else's sunlight.
I would be lying if I said
that my heart never pulls apart
whenever I catch you in places I thought you wouldn't be.
And I would be lying if I said
I was over you choosing fear
over me.
See, the thing is, I thought I would never see you again.
I thought the second you walked out my door
would be the last time I'd see your eyes.
Yet, yesterday ironically, ours locked like two metal puzzle pieces
and the clashing of steel left ringing in my ears
and sparks flying out of my sanity.
I don't know what it is about you.
There's this sort of unexplainable heat
on the rims of your gaze that leaves a sort of branding.
And every single time your aura enters the room, I feel like the walls
are closing in on my mind, bring me down dark narrow paths
whose light you blew out whilst dousing the flames of my heart.
And maybe it's the thought of you
becoming everything I would've wanted you to be
that leaves me biting my tongue full of envy.
Because I would be lying if I told you
I was proud that all it took was the elimination of me
to make you happy.
gd
{a year ago was so different}