Loose the love or loose yourself
Put your feelings on a shelf

Removed the barrier
Flip the switch
You know it’s the time to ditch

Fill the hole
Start anew
So much of life yet to do

He is gone
You are here
No more energy to shed a tear

Take care of you
Let him go
It’s time to start a brand new show

As I was driving along, not really paying attention to my thoughts, listening to an over played Taylor Swift song on the radio, I had a realization.

I was happier.

In that single moment I felt the change and I knew why.

How is it that I love someone who has scarred my soul.

Their love was bound to be tragic
They were cheating. They were liars
By definition they couldn't be trusted
Love without trust
The greatest contradiction

This morning on the train I saw a man who had lips like you. Slender and firm, lovingly powerful, perfectly matched for mine. A pang through the heart as he walked away - just like you.

Peering through lashes at his form
He is more powerful than he gives himself credit for
His body is strong and lean
But his mind is stronger
Layered with complexity and intelligence

He is the first
The first to break through her rules of life
Logic becomes a distant memory
Years of experience
She is suddenly new, shiny and green

His mind like a magnet
His words an aphrodisiac
His touch..
His touch, her reason lost
She is in a new world

In his world
Each day she is high
She loves the feeling
Words become her rush
Love becomes a crutch

Eyes shut, judgement fades
Quivering she cannot control
He takes over her senses
Pushing deep to her soul
She loses herself

No words escape her lips
She is confused in a haze of euphoria
Her high unimaginable
Chocking with desire
She is lost in his love

But he is strong, stronger than her
He just doesn’t know it
Her mind crowded, her senses returned
Now crashing
Still lost , his love gone

It feels like chaos
Rolling through my veins
Torn between love and hate
Memories crash the senses

What to do now?
How do you live a life un-lived
How do you move on
not regret, not desire
Wishing for a do-over

Time passes looking for relief
Fleeting moments of memory loss
Life continues In motions of happiness

The pain, the loss, the desire and obsession
It's not about him
Missing a love that was a facade
So fooled and so amazing.

Do they show
The cracks in my heart
Feelings seeping as I live
Each day we're apart

Do they see
My sadness show through
The pain on my face
Each day without you

Can they tell
The days I am scattered
My thoughts so unclear
Even work doesn't matter

Is it real
This agony I know
Are these feelings a trick
As they continue to grow

Does he know
His impact on me
The power he has
Forever  "his T"

In silence we exist
Forever at odds
So far apart
...

Amongst the pain and the sorrow are lightning flashes of fun
Rolling and groaning, our bodies are one
Soft kisses and touches, her body reacts
Hair pulling, lip biting, the passion attacks
Lost in his spell, little does he know
She’s his forever, no matter the blow
Parting words, harsh reality, nothing changes the fact
He owns her forever, she’ll always come back

Rising from the core, the air balloons in her throat
A gasp escapes her lips
Quiet like a butterfly
No one notices she's amiss

She lives her life in these moments
Unsure what is real, what is not
Everyday a routine
She wonders will she ever stop

Privileged, she experienced the other
A side of life often unlived
Discovery of a person
Perhaps she was meant to give

Separated by life, love, and sadness
Her heart is now confused
A future fuzzy and grey
Her mind battered and bruised

And so the cycle continues
Each day a mind divided
One life of rules and commitment
The other of souls united

In a single moment it was over
Love lost and unexplored
A crack becomes a crevasse
Their secret was no more

Not a whisper, instead a scream
The walls began to crumble
Their tie finally severed
She was about to stumble

In that moment nothing mattered
Her heart began to shatter
He denied the essence of who they were
A connection that didn’t matter

Hurt subsides to pain
An everlasting emotion
A thought not occurred
A breakable devotion

And so it continues
The everlasting chasm
Filled deep with love and regret
The memories of hate and passion