if freedom of speech
is the most prominent here
why am i mute

why is it that i
feel the pressure not to speak
when i can do so

i feel that all i
can do is stay quiet in
this loud enough room

i just am quiet
in this room of loud beings
letting voices speak

not much speak but scream
scream so i cant hear myself
so i'll be quiet

i try to go leave
but shockingly they notice
and the screams come close

i hide away from
the voices that can haunt me
because of volume

my ears are bleeding
somebody help me, i cant
leave the loud voices

is it my right
to be able to scream back?
i dont really know

i dont know if i
am allowed to scream back to
these scary voices

what if the voices
dont try to listen, what if
they silence my point

they probably will
i cant help but think they will
silence what i say

i wish i could speak
saying what i have to think
but i feel i can

she looks at me with sad eyes
as if the is asking me to leave
to go away
as the eyes once told me to
to vanish into thin air
like the dandelion's seeds
but i stare back
trying to take in her beauty
for this might be the last time i see it
i forgot i miss her
i forgot that we had good memories
but i try to smile
or not look sad
but i can't help it
i can't stop
staring
staring into her eyes
the sad eyes that told me to leave
the sad eyes that once told me to stay
the sad eyes that were once happy
the sad eyes that i once loved to see
the eyes look away, almost quickly
as if they've seen enough
and look down at the ground
trying to avoid the sight
of another's eyes staring
the eyes that they once loved
and my eyes
kept
staring

there was a smaller voice that said no
that i should have listened to
i wish i listened to
but i chose to believe the greater voice that said yes
because i thought
i had a perfect sense
of the right and wrong
because i trusted what i had been taught to trust
the "bright side"
"it'll be ok"
"things like this take time"
b s .
i  c a l l  b s .
when i look back to what i could have done
i now know
i should have listened to
that voice