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  Dec 2014 Taylor
han
the desk was filled with empty coffee cups
they were almost as empty as his promises
the light on your desk was brighter than the light that led you down your path to misery
it seemed dark but you knew exactly where you were headed
you try to forget by drowning yourself in alcohol but your lungs are already filled with the smell of his breath after  he kissed you goodnight
you stay up late because you know you'll dream of the way he used to hold you and tell you he loved you
but when you're awake you can't help to fantasize about the way he used to look at you
and when someone brushes next to you in the hallway you think about how his hands used to hold your hips and the feel of his weight on top of you
you find yourself convinced of your own lies and the things you make up in your head seem more real than the things you actually felt and smelled and saw
you don't know if you hate him or love him for hurting you
because maybe he made you a better person but why would you break the heart of someone you love
though i'm not sure if breaking my heart is worse than telling me you love me when maybe you didn't at all
  Dec 2014 Taylor
mel
i want to tell you about lost poems.
about how the scars on my neck
used to tell stories of an angel
singing into my skin and every
time they burn i feel myself dying
in her arms all over again.
i want to tell you about the
endless pages and colored notes
and backs of cigarette packs i
wrote her name on, and how each one of them
ended up in my bruised fingertips
clutching her waist.
i want to tell you about the time
she set my lungs on fire with her
snow cold skin; how she blew
stardust into my nostrils and i
spiraled into dark addiction.
i want to tell you how i craved her
beauty like a dead man craved the oxygen that
once flowed through his veins-
i'll tell you how i crave her still.
i want to tell you about lost
poems, how they never really
come back to you. how all you
can do is sit on the floor and write about them
until there's nothing left but
dried ink and a hollow ache in the
parts she kissed you most.
she is my lost poem.
  Dec 2014 Taylor
april
It's 1pm, she's smiling. I've closed my eyes too many times just from the times she's hurt me--
she never said it'd be alright and now my mind still worries.
She's like another twisting hurricane that I should've known better than to get into,
but now the roads are blocked and the sirens stopped and I'm standing inside the walls I built inside my heart.
She's somewhere on the outside, knocking just to hear one more "I'm sorry,"
trying to get inside or just disarm me.

I spent my days through endless nights just trying to strengthen these walls of mine--
from enemy, from predator, from girl. But as her voice echoes through my veins,
I forget all the things she always says.
I forget myself, my sense, my name.

My walls have cracked - my defense falls -
what looked like stone was another glass house surrounding my pulse
as it beats through every break, every trial and last mistake,
she says she loves me but makes me wait - I'll never feel this way again.
-aprilxcv
  Dec 2014 Taylor
EpiPen
1.
Everything
                    Started when she was seventeen
                                            You couldn't tell her anything
                                                        ­                      Say he wasn't everything
Who could tell her?
                     What to believe
                                               Tell her stop Or not to breath
                                              Because that's what love is its like breathing
                                                       ­         Yeah that’s what she believed
                                                        ­                      She believed she was living
                                           On a wild ride of life
                                                           A catalyst to somewhere like paradise
She said send me ' send me away
I will live to love another day
And kiss me, kiss me goodbye
I’m going on a wild ride
And love me, love me tonight
Loves a catalyst to paradise.

2. And everything
                          Started out like a dream
                                 But now she was waking
                                                      Waki­ng up to everything
                                                      ­           Life played out like a movie scene
    And is this is what life is
                     When hearts are breaking
                                      When hearts are breaking tearing up everything
                                                      ­                                                                 ­                               Just- like -an- earth quake--- nothings left...
You still can’t take her respect
                                           Tell her love isn't everything
                                                                ­       There’s no mistaking that
                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                      She might not make it back
She knew when she took that ride
                                                       A catalyst to paradise
She said send me ' send me away
I will live to love another day
And kiss me, kiss me goodbye
I’m going on a wild ride
And love me, love me tonight
Your loves a catalyst to paradise.

3. And everything changes
                                  We all have to live life and No body is always right
                                                      We live and learn we all take our lessons
                                                       With our pride and our blessings
                                                       ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                     We all take our turn on a wild ride

                         A catalyst to paradise  to find love  in someone’s eyes

Say send me ' send me away
I will live to love another day
And kiss me, kiss me goodbye
I’m going on a wild ride
And love me, love me tonight
Your loves a catalyst to paradise.
  Nov 2014 Taylor
Katie Mac
did you forget
holding me.
did you forget
the storm inside and the leaking windows;
i wasn't waterproof anymore.

did you forget the burn of fire in our throats
and the smoke we breathed.
did you forget the earthquake sending tremors through me.

did you forget how much it hurts
to have each nerve snipped
so you can hollow out some space for someone else
in your already packed-full chest.

did you forget
the hot summer sun and first love
and *****-stained dresses smeared with dirt.

did you forget the hard floor and the cricks
in our necks.
mine still hurts

it still hurts
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