How could you do this to me?
Not only did you lie to me,
You manipulated me --
Twisting your words
Until it was what you thought I wanted to hear.
All I ever wanted was the truth!
You destroyed me --
When I found you'd lied,
Nothing else made sense
Your words were all the same,
Sugar coated just to benefit yourself.
Not one thing you did was for me!
And now, I doubt you --
I doubt you ever had true love for me.
Everything you claim is real,
How do I know it's no different than before?
When you said it over and over again,
Digging your own grave,
With each and every sentence,
How do I know you're not just lying again?
How could you do this to me,
Making me doubt myself and everyone around me.

I am going
Straight
To hell
Any induction
Process occurring,
At the time
I happen to arrive,
I fear
Will be interrupted
Just to be sure
I make it in okay.
After realizing this
The present
Wasn't so bad,
And I always
Carried a smile
With me.

I haven’t always been the best lover, daughter, sister, relative, friend, coworker, student, individual. But my intentions, for the most part, have always been good. My heart is many things; conflicted, light, heavy, dizzy, a transcontinental road map, oozing liquid, electric, pure. Kind and pure. I can't confidently say that about many of me, but of this one thing I am sure. In my lifetime I've positioned myself to be the one who gets hurt and not be the one to cause it. But taking it for how it is, it doesn’t always work out that way. It rarely, actually, has ever or will ever work out that way, not always at least.

I’ve hurt you, and I’m sorry. I’ve broken you, parts of you, and I’m sorry. I’ve let you down before, and I’m sorry. You have hurt me, and I forgive you. My heart is broken, but I do not hold it against you. You’ve let me down, and it’s okay. This is the part of existing we didn't sign up for. Yes, I realize the whole "sign up for" analogy is ****** and weak, I can do better than that, I know. But it's just, what I'm trying to get at here is that this is the part of being I am no longer wrecking myself over trying to understand anymore. We are fleshed boomerangs of disdain and consolation, martyr and martyred, antonym and synonym. Take me for who I am and who I have the potential to be. Take you for who you are and your potential just the same, resent and mend, just the same. Let go of your expectations, take it for how it is.

I am nothing but another face
You claim to love me?
Yet stare with nothing but disgrace
Love? Is nothing unique.

You slaughter me with words
**** me with jealousy
What am I doing so wrong?
Without committing a felony..

You live for my despair
Yet cry to others about the fights
What the **** am I doing here?
Just to cuddle at night?

In the folds of the sea
That sneak about,
Like sheets blown
In a winter's wind,
From their ocean vaults
Where ghosts creep out;
Under the foam,
Tinged with sun,
Ten million years
Storm in the tide.

In the waves of the world,
Eloped in time,
I look at the clouds
Painted in the sky.

In the moors of the depths,
Driven mad with longing,
I hear the siren's call,
The sands of the beach stretch infinitely.

In the folds of the sea,
Held by the moon,
I see the ocean churned white,
Tinged with sun,
Ten million years
Storm in the tide.