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HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me!!! i made it..
Lay with me
in my bed
under the sheets
with nothing on
put your hand on my chest
and lean into me and
whisper
all your darkest
secrets and fantasies
trust me
with your body
let me ful fill
your dreams
and wishes
ill make them all
come true.
There is a cold wind
blowing outside,
into the graying,
an apocalyptic sky

The lamps are lit
The night descends
it comes as it always does
My table is cluttered
with wadded paper
scribblings saying nothing

The hanging question you asked
remains
"What is your heart's desire?"

The light it flickers
Throwing shadows on the wall
So eerie at first,
So familiar after all

Fantasies
Phantasims
Hypnogogic imagery
A trance like state of mind

Many lifetimes pass
None of them mine

What is your heart's desire
It strangles the mind with possibilities
Waiting for the tell,
the tell that might never come.

You asked me
as we left the foggy meadow
"You who speak so highly of the little synchronicites,
But what is your heart's desire? "

I rise with the sun each day
My path laid out before me
I do this and that in order

Each night as the dark descends
The day's vivid light has vanished
I stare into this lamp light
and wonder
what is my heart's desire.
 Jun 2016 tameeka jayne semmler
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I know that you don't believe everything must have significant meaning.

I know you don't see the whole world as art.

I know these things, and this is why you will never understand the condition of my heart.
"I love you."
We cling to it like a life raft,
Lost as we are
In a digital sea of FaceTime calls,
Stuck in the 8 corners of our bedroom walls.

"I love you."
It's not so much that we need to hear it
As much as it is that we need to say it.

"I love you."
They're the words that say it all,
When we can't find the other ones.

"I love you."
Words more of assurance than devotion,
Words of safeguarding, words of longing.

"I love you."
Because I can't see you and talk about the things we'd usually talk about.
I can only miss you.
And having already said that,
Only "I love you" remains.

I know you love me too.
But I just need you to know,
For my own peace of mind,
That I do--

I love you.
your arms
wrapped around me
were replaced
by loneliness.

i feel now that i am not wanted,
but rather here,
a disturbance in the calmness
of your peaceful atmosphere.

my passions
have become your annoyances,
every word i speak
makes your eyes roll.

i've started to wonder
if it's you or i that's changed.

i feel like winter,
cold and unwanted;
sometimes like spring,
tremendous rainfall
on flowers that will never bloom.

i don't feel close to anyone anymore,
i feel like a quiet noise amongst ambience,
waiting to be heard.
but not everybody can hear.

how many times do i have to try
before you realize
you don't want me?
why am i teaching you a lesson
when you so badly
believe you're teaching me one?

and lastly,
who are you?
is it you that's changed?

you used to love me.
you used to take me as i was.
you used to treat me like summer mornings.
you used to be happy around me.
you used to appreciate everything.

you used to.
but now you don't.

and as spring turns to summer
and the flowers die out,
i hope you dwell on the buds
that never blossomed
for after all,
it is your ignorance
and my loneliness
that kills all life.
i don't feel close to anybody anymore
I'm glad to be a rose
Filled with beauty and grace
It makes me very happy
To be on display in a vase

I come in many colors
Red, pink and yellow
I make the girls happy
When given by a fellow

I come in different shapes
In many different sizes
Some people grow me
And try to win prizes

My aroma intoxicating
So delicate and sweet
Sometimes in your bath
Other times at your feet

I'm happiest in the garden
Growing wild and free
Reaching for the sunlight
Giving pollen to the bee
An owl so elegantly sits here,
On the branch of any mango tree,
It so silently sits sans any fear,
On the three mango trees we have,
An owl so wisely perches there.
The owl is the most gorgeous bird.
My affinity to owls grew since Harry Potter.

My HP Poem #1083
©Atul Kaushal
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