I think the hardest struggle I deal with on a daily is wanting to be loved, wanting someone to take the time to show me I am loved. And it’s difficult for me to understand why my entire life why it’s been so hard for people to show me the love I desire. I hate false promises, I hate “I will get better” because lies don’t do anything but run in a circle and I get so tired of being in a 360 field with people I hate turning back, I’m tired of not getting 180, I’m tired of giving my all and being everything when everybody can’t give me an ounce of themselves, I hate it, and as I go day through day it gets harder, as I grow older and want to lay down in the bed with my husband every night and be a wife and be protected, I grow knowing that visions don’t fulfill my womanhood, love does, men gives sometime love and think it’s enough and I deserve so much more. I’m more important than i midday nap, I’m more important than ounce of snore, I want to be put on someone’s pedestal as I always try to hold men to highest degree but yet I am always left crying bending down at my altar talking to mother asking her when is the pain going to end, when will a man hold me higher than hisself, a man that makes sure I’m okay and can feel how I feel from Miles away, seems so untouchable and when I get it it seems so temporary because with a blink of an eye I feel that love comes and goes when it comes to a man loving me…. It’s the truth that write with the tears that I shed and the blood that seeps down my fingertips as I write words with thorns from my pain that has risen.
