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H AE MZ Sep 26
When I look at you, I see your beauty.
And when I look deeper, I feel your pain.
Will the world, for once, truly see me?
Or will they only glance at me?
Reflection, how do you perceive me?
So Wrongly.
Self, how dishonestly you portray yourself.

You see me smiling-
But do you see the weight beneath my grin?
You see me standing tall-
But can you feel the cracks I've hidden in my skin?
Reflection, you're too kind, too naive,
Believing the face I show the world.

They've taken my words, my truths,
And turned them into weapons sharp as glass.
What I gave in trust, they twisted,
Used it to cut me where I'm most fragile.

So now I hide. I build these walls so high,
Even you, my reflection, can't climb inside.
I keep my pain locked tight behind my smile,
For fear of giving them the keys to destroy me again.

I wonder, reflection-
Are you a facade too?
Do I hide from you as much as the world,
Turning away from what's true?

Can I trust you?
Can you see past the armor I've forged,
Or are you just another wall I've built,
Keeping me from myself?

I'm afraid to look too closely-
What if you're just another lie?
What if I've buried the real me so deep,
That even my own eyes can't find me?

Until next time, reflection...
If I'm ever ready to face you again.
This poem portrays the most fearful conversation I have had, with my own reflection. It explores the tension between the version of me that the world sees and the vulnerable self I keep hidden. Fear of confronting my own buried truths, shaped by betrayal and the way trust has been used against me, has forced me to build emotional armor. As I look at my reflection, I wonder if I can even trust what I see. The conversation remains unfinished, as I'm not yet ready to fully face this scariest reflection of who I really am.
graciousness abound, my only father
scrubbing my body with ivory soap
tub swallowing my filth
anywhere else, I imagine
wishing death upon the celestial
Grace Pickard Apr 2014
I'm alive
Here is my unadulterated heart
Bring on the pain and suffering
The scary bits of possible rejection

This is vulnerability
Gracie Pickard April 9, 2014

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