I do not know where to find happiness anymore
Unable to ignore this burning hole inside
I no linger enjoy activities that once brought pleasure
For unknown reasons my heart won't be satisfied
Stars seem dinner, losing shine
Scatter across the inky dim sky
Many beautiful corpses of suns
Yet each night I watch them drift by
Sick of this unquenchable thirst
Trying to regain joy lost
I'm smiling but inside I'm torn apart
Mouth laughing, but arms are crossed
Put on a mask to disguise my despair
Fell from a blissful staged fantasy
Cartwheeling deeper into uneasiness
My subtle discontentment is challenging to see
The woman I wish I could be is out of reach
I'm convinced it's too late to change my ways
A time once existed when I was proud of my decisions
I am forever yearning to revisit easier days
Written 5-21-18