In which ditch should I waste this flesh
For you to feel superior?
On which street to make a fool of myself?
Why not Satisfy all your 'highness's evil wishes
And be the lousiest there is?
Saint garbage, saint crap, saint ****...
Saint all the ****** and ****** people making of you
The greatest and most loved.

Garbage, garbage,
Trashing lives,
All recycled, changed, undermined
A demon' s wishes...
To keep all this garbage
In real life.

Garbage, saint garbage
Producer of honey in your lives.

"Of bodies changed to other forms I (sing);"

and dip an oar into a primal sea
to see a world more animal than human
pierce this shell of surface tension
to feel, smell, hear this bottom extent
being cast within profusion's briny flow

in slow evolutionary tides
washed up on shores of crashing sound
run aground through fur und fetters
tail to mouth food chain devoured
'ever preening in disguise

unmoored in a rolling mirror
duplicitous while moon howling
even Zeus took occasion's swan dive
to lead a baser instinct's anatomy
and shoot a swimming seed home

Dr. and Mr. mixed in a beak-er
shaped and shifted over geology's ago
flooding forms into molded forms
and yet scramble out and into breath
filling lungs unto this crested vision

"So mastered by the brute blood of the air,"


-cec

goodbye lover, goodbye
my broken heart will heal
but my youth will never restore
if I could return the stolen moments
I would, tenfold, back to you
I have no right to keep them hostage
I know my emotions were never
your responsibility, though I guiltily
made them your cross to bear
you exchanged sadness for pleasure
though I love you not for what you did
or the ways you'd make me laugh or feel
or the times you'd make me think and care
but because I felt as though I saw you
goofy, odd, brilliant, funny, wonderful, ****
my feelings are always genuine
and though we have bid one another farewell
I am certain my feelings will remain
long after my youth and body have gone
so adieu chéri, adieu--
some infinities are longer than others
the one we shared has never ended for me
though I can't give back these thoughts
the knowledge of loves existence is my burden
someday, days or years
lifetimes or centuries from now
a rainbow will touch the ocean
because my love for you spans
a greater infinity than time itself
but until that moment arrives
(if it ever arrives in this life time)
goodbye sweet love, goodbye--
for as long as you'd like

we dance in puddles on the rooftops
in the rain of a typhoon, I wait
for our hopes and dreams to blow over
sundress soaked to my skin
you tell me I'm a pretty little thing
you can't see my sleeves and my soaked hair
still smells like the smoke of a loaded gun, gone
I traded in my needs for sticky promises
you traded in your career for a losing ticket
after everything is said and done
will you slay your demons for someone new?
please don't let me consume you while we dance
on the rooftops in the rain until feet bleed
and pockets of trapped blisters form
it's too late now, isn't it?
to whisper that I don't like dancing
while you remind me that I'm wrong
of course my eyes would dance for you
look at how beautiful I am when I spin and fall
new bruises form and I look so good in blue
so I twirl because it makes you smile like you do
though it isn't fair of me nor you
to keep silent skies grey and air muggy

Sometimes
in the middle of the night
I sit in the middle of my country
in the middle of my state
in the middle of my town
in the middle of my neighborhood
in the middle of my house
in the middle of my room
in the middle of my bed
wondering
what the hell happened to my life?
and how the hell did I get here?
and as a matter of fact,
who the hell am I
and
what the hell am I planning to do
with the rest of my life?