I had dreamt
Many times

I was a young dancing girl
Who
Caught the eye
Of an older Lama
He caught my eye
And heart
I was dancing for him
Then our beings
And tounges danced
Eachother for the first time.

Possess my soul
Possess my body
Possess my mind
That’s what you do
Though a demon
You’re not.
Eat me
Breath me
Drink me.
Love me.

I go the land
Of my ancestors
The Himalayas
To bet with my brethren
And hope to find love
And enlightenment
As the prayer flags fly
I smile.

As we make love
And explore each other
The prayer flags hanging in my room
Tickle the top of my head.

We were practicing the positions
While love making
“Claudia, would you like to run away with me to Tibet.
I always wanted to be a Lama.
And we will be safe!”
I said that was romantic
But I had commitments
To my art.
But thinking back in the morning
I thought I had nothing here to live for
And I told you that
And that we can live in Tibet.
And idea was that I could teach the monks or locals
As it turned out
We ended up in Lhasa
In a small monastery
We kept to our selves
And you got groomed
The piercings still there
Thank god
We made love regularly
Until we got married and you
Started to study.
I took to sketching
The locals and the other monks
There was one young monk
That I kept sketching
And we started
To have feeling for one another
When became native I. The language
Taught him my karate in front
And soon we ended making out
“You think I am beautiful?” I
Said repeatedly
He said yes and kissed me.
When I wasn’t with you or him
I drew ****** sketches of this beautiful young man.
You found out
And cast him out.
I was angry
But for a short while.

In the middle of the night
Claudia
Was reading tearfully
The note that her love sent her
Saying:

My beloved rose
Since you left me
With out you
Or our child
I decided that I was niravana was
You my beloved
And you have left
A hole in my heart
When you read this
I will be in shambala
And I hope you join
Me when you are done
My lovely rose.

When she finished reading
She wrote an note to her partner
That she was going away
And that she would keep
In touch
When it was morning
Claudia was at the airport
Not to Tibet
But to DC.
where she will do
Who she will become
Was beyond her.
She toured around her new city
And found the fbi building
Something drew her to it
She knew that
They were now
Hiring women
And took advantage
That’s who she willl be.
If she makes the cut.

The next morning after their morning loving making session
After whispering sweet nothings to eachother
Boris said that he going to announce that
He at a young age had found enlightenment
She thought her scronny tattooed lover was going to do that
Claudia said that she loved him
But since they came here
He went insane
Yet was still loving
She realized that she had missed her period three months in a row
Could she still teach
While carrying their child.
Could she take care of them
Here in this waste land
She thought know and she
Called her tattooed monk that
She was carrying his kid
Claudia then she she was going to open up a dojo in
Upper manhattan
To make a better life
For her and the kid
She kissed him farewell
Feeling those piecing for the last time
And turned her back
On the punk Lama.
When she arrived Claudia left
Her beloved
In Tibet
And wished him well
She also found out that she was having multiples.
When she got to a doctor
Claudia stayed with her friends
Until she gave birth
Made a name for herself again
Every night she cried herself to
Sleep
And dreamed of Boris
And in the day she took her
Sketch book out and
Started drawing tantric art
Who involved her and Boris
The friends asked
What happened to him
And she said
That he was happier in the mountains
And she couldn’t live there
For the sake of the children
When it came time to give birth
She had for daughters
To whom she promised not
To breathe a word of their
Father.
Over the years
She got stronger both emotionally
And physically
And the girls grew up
Like wild flowers
When the daughters whent to school
She opened her own dojo
And found another
Who her daughters called
Dad.
She never told him about Boris
Trying to pretend like they
Never met in that alley
Once a upon a time
Then her new husband saw the tattoos and the name
Who was Boris
He asked her
And then as the children slept
She said that she
Was once in love with a street punk
Who dragged her
To Tibet
And he lost touch of reality
She said that he was called Lama Tashi Surya
But she knew him as Boris
Claudia cried and then tried to move on with life
Until her one of daughters
Discovered in the mail
A letter in what she called Egyptian
And normal
It said that her husband
Lama Tashi Surya
Killed himself
The letter in tibetan was both a love letter and suicide note.
Her and her new husband
Got the others around and
Told the daughters
Of their real father
Lama Boris as Claudia called him.
She found the only suitable sketch of her beloved
And showed it do her daughters
Claudia felt like it was her fault
That the love
Of her life was dead.
She closed her school
And went to be a secretary
First she was a martial arts expert
And mistress
Then some insane punk’s lover
Now a mother
And wife.
She had to leave her passion karate behind along with Boris.
She framed the sketch and
Hung it up
Above the tv so when her daughters
Watched cartoons
They knew where they came from.
From time
To time
Claudia still had feelings
For the Russian punk
Who rocked her world.

After seeing her beloved
Cry during his meditation and studies
Claudia decoded that her art and her marriage where important
She forgot about her secret lover
The only lover she actually
Had was Lama Boris
Her punk lover.
And Karate
She concentrated on her martial arts and then Boris
At night
While they made wierd love
In the moonlit room
To the song diamonds and guns
Not only was the passion and attraction back
Her Boris muttered something in tibetan
that She could not understand
“My love what did you say?”
Claudia asked curiously
Then it got creepy
When he said what he muttered
Was I am a Buddha
She got freaked out
He kissed her
And explained that he had an enlightening experience
Will he saw her beautiful
Face in the moonlight
“ you were so beautiful my rose,” Boris said.
As she saw his piercings close in the moonlight
She didn’t blame him
For saying that
Claudia tried to say “kayrangla gawpo yo,”
Studdering it.
He took her close to him
And the made out in the moonlight
She couldn’t believe she was
Making out with who was a punk Buddha
She never kissed a Buddha.

After their morning love making
Boris go out of bed to start studying
Taking that time
Claudia satisfies her
Body with more sleep
And used her new knowledge
Of the alphabet
To write lover letters
To both Boris
And the lower monk
She left one for her punk husband
And to her lover.
He never knew
Until one day
Boris saw the two practicing
She was more gentle to the youngster
How they go group with eachother.
He let it go and kept up on his buddhist studies
When he found ****** drawings
Of her and the younger monk
Being together
He felt a sting
He talked to Claudia
Not accusing her
Just saying
As a Lama he had the youngster out casted.
He said that he was her husband
And not a *******.
While Lama Boris
As she lovingly called him
Was ranting raving
Claudia couldn’t help
But think that her secret pet
Was now a beggar.
She lost it
Telling her punk punk husband that
There will be no coupling
Unless he kept to his study
And start to control himself
She banned him from the lessons
At night she for
The first refused to let
Boris to touch her.  
The next morning she
Found some love poems and love
Letters
More less apologizing for his anger.
She forgive but not forget
And tried to light the flame
Of her passion.

After their wedding night
Claudia said her new husband
Shed his t shirts
Wearing the monk robes
And gave her his old clothing
He was skinny
So they fit her perfectly
Before she taught the monks
Martial arts
She had to practice out in the front.
In the sun
When she finished she went
To the younger monk
And drew pictures of him.
He kept looking at her
Claudia asked him if she was
Beautiful
Sering saw that he was was in fact attracted to be her
And her beauty
Comparing her to a Buddhist goddess
He closed the door
And the monk and Claudia
Shared a kiss.
This was a beautiful experience
But she had to keep it
A secret.
She stoped seeing him
For her heart was meant for Tashi
She felt lonely
And wanted to be him
So she taught him
Her art instead.
Her first student
She gave him private lessons
But her gentle teaching
Of karate
Made the youngster more attracted to her.
Before dinner
Claudia dawned her uniform
And taught
Her art to
The monks
Including her Boris
At night she continued to teach Boris (Tashi) her moves
He taught her the alphabet
So she can practice them letters
Then Boris said that he wanted to couple with her.
They kissed and embraced
While he got into her
Feeling a kind of pleasure that she
Only felt with him
His piercings pressed against her lips
Though if it
Wasn’t for the piercings
She though that forbidden kiss.