I had dreamt
Many times

I was a young dancing girl
Who
Caught the eye
Of an older Lama
He caught my eye
And heart
I was dancing for him
Then our beings
And tounges danced
Eachother for the first time.

Possess my soul
Possess my body
Possess my mind
That’s what you do
Though a demon
You’re not.
Eat me
Breath me
Drink me.
Love me.

As we make love
And explore each other
The prayer flags hanging in my room
Tickle the top of my head.

While My former instructor
Yuan
And I  asked if I could
Play with one of katanas
I then went and licked the blade
Trying not to cute my tounge
Slowly while he watched
He complained
That the sword should be him
I then did the same to him
All over him
But slower and more affectionate
I pleasured him
And loved him.
Soon love poems
Started to come up
When I slept in
When realized Yuan was
With his crime family
I kept writing love poems
And hide them all over the appartment
We were together
Until
I felt the need to go home
Matsumoto promised that we
Would stay in touch
When I got to upper Manhattan
To live with a friend
And mother my children
I took the time to sand him steamy
Love letters.
Which we responded with more steaminess
After a while I wrote back
And never heard from him
Until one of his associates
Wrote back saying that
Oyabun Yuan Matsumoto
Died in peace.
Then I learned that you killed your self
Too much hallucinogenics
I died cherish you as you
Deserved
But instead fell for my karate instructor
Yet again.

We were practicing the positions
While love making
“Claudia, would you like to run away with me to Tibet.
I always wanted to be a Lama.
And we will be safe!”
I said that was romantic
But I had commitments
To my art.
But thinking back in the morning
I thought I had nothing here to live for
And I told you that
And that we can live in Tibet.
And idea was that I could teach the monks or locals
As it turned out
We ended up in Lhasa
In a small monastery
We kept to our selves
And you got groomed
The piercings still there
Thank god
We made love regularly
Until we got married and you
Started to study.
I took to sketching
The locals and the other monks
There was one young monk
That I kept sketching
And we started
To have feeling for one another
When became native I. The language
Taught him my karate in front
And soon we ended making out
“You think I am beautiful?” I
Said repeatedly
He said yes and kissed me.
When I wasn’t with you or him
I drew ****** sketches of this beautiful young man.
You found out
And cast him out.
I was angry
But for a short while.

I did not go back to the dojo
Again
But the love letters
Kept coming.
I ended up only teaching you
And then you
Taught me your Tantra and karma sutra
I could feel love and pleasure with different poses
That we were linked spirituality
We did this every day
And normal making out.
One evening
You were out
I know were confronting
My sensei
And came back with a severe black eye
And a **** on your arm
From a katana
Thank god it was just skin deep
And the hospital was not involved.
“That guy threaten to cute out your heart and cute off my head
I am calling the police and tell them he’s Japanese mafia”
You said
We spent the night
At the police station
I had the letters
As evidence
And where he lives.
A few days later ended up with the dojo to my self and my instructor turned lover was in prison
And being deported back to japan.
In a way my dream came true
Thanks to human stupidity.
The appartment up top
Looked like someone was still
Living there
And the weapons he
Taught me to use
Frightened me to death.

I did something stupid
I look around your ******
Appartment
And found some pictures
Not of rockers or Bruce lee
But that if I strange part of the world
It looked like the slasher but g rated and not gory.
I saw some pactuclar yet beautiful flags
And mountains
Then I found a creepy
Shrine to some middle aged
Bald monk with the strange writing
Around it.
Freaked out I thought you were
Secretally in love
With the Dalai Lama
“Boris! What the **** is going on?!”
I screamed
I was thinking that my parents
Were right
That you were junk
“You bi? No don’t answer
If you go to my classes great
If you don’t fantastic.”
I heard you say “I love you Claudia,”
But in a rage I left
And went to my friends house
In upper Manhattan
I only came back
To teach a class and for my lessons.
But before I secretly checked on you
You were too busy watching that ****** up movie... again.
So I went on my way
During my lessons
I noticed you standing outside
I was going to make you suffer
And sweat
So I thought that my instructor was
Single
I went up and made out out with him in a corner
“Claudia, what the...?” He asked
And he took me to his place up top
Of the training hall
And we were going to have ***
We were kissing
I saw his full body tattoo
And we started to couple
When I heard you yelling my name
The instructor
Said  something in Japanese with rolling r’s
I asked and he said that the ******* ******* was back screaming.
I kissed him and said maybe tomorrow
I got dressed and run to you
You had some gifts
And I had to tell you that my sensei
The owner banned you
And that he was yakuza
You weren’t afraid
And said that you wanted me to get some tattoos
Most of my choiceexcept for one
We went and I got a strange tattoo near my womanhood
That was in the freaky text
You said that you it was tibetan for Om mani Padme hum
The rest I got were stars and flowers
Stars for the arm and the flowers for the chest and throat.
At home you undressed me I
You
While we kissed heavily and passionately
“Claudia I am sorry for that picture freaking you out”
I just kept kissing
We got into bed and
You messaged your mantra
Near my womanhood with you lips and tounge
Then my womanhood.
You then gave me the treats and drape the colourful
Flags around my neck
Then
Continued
As you were pleasuring me I thought of my instructor
But your piercings
We’re a pleasurable reminder
They were right
I was a *****.

Soon she was called into
For a job interview
At the FBI
And she gave her whatever resume
She had
And that she spoke in tibetan, Japanese, Russian and of course English
They told her she was accepted into the academy
4 monthes of shear hell
But she has been through worse
And she proved her metal
And passed
Not she was an FBI agent
But celebration was short lived
When she went to
Bed
In her dreams Boris haunted her dreams
She did a lot of good and saw action
But lived as a loner
And wrote to her daughters
Though she couldn’t bare to see them
For they reminded Claudia of her first
She just hope that they never saw her sketches
One October day
On the year of 83
Claudia’s tragically cut short
In action
Before she died in her hospital room
From complications
Of being shot
She sat up
Mediated
And breathed out Om mani Padme hum
And drifted off
Not a care in the world
For she was with her
Beloved Russian punk
In shambala.
In paradise.

In the middle of the night
Claudia
Was reading tearfully
The note that her love sent her
Saying:

My beloved rose
Since you left me
With out you
Or our child
I decided that I was niravana was
You my beloved
And you have left
A hole in my heart
When you read this
I will be in shambala
And I hope you join
Me when you are done
My lovely rose.

When she finished reading
She wrote an note to her partner
That she was going away
And that she would keep
In touch
When it was morning
Claudia was at the airport
Not to Tibet
But to DC.
where she will do
Who she will become
Was beyond her.
She toured around her new city
And found the fbi building
Something drew her to it
She knew that
They were now
Hiring women
And took advantage
That’s who she willl be.
If she makes the cut.

After seeing her beloved
Cry during his meditation and studies
Claudia decoded that her art and her marriage where important
She forgot about her secret lover
The only lover she actually
Had was Lama Boris
Her punk lover.
And Karate
She concentrated on her martial arts and then Boris
At night
While they made wierd love
In the moonlit room
To the song diamonds and guns
Not only was the passion and attraction back
Her Boris muttered something in tibetan
that She could not understand
“My love what did you say?”
Claudia asked curiously
Then it got creepy
When he said what he muttered
Was I am a Buddha
She got freaked out
He kissed her
And explained that he had an enlightening experience
Will he saw her beautiful
Face in the moonlight
“ you were so beautiful my rose,” Boris said.
As she saw his piercings close in the moonlight
She didn’t blame him
For saying that
Claudia tried to say “kayrangla gawpo yo,”
Studdering it.
He took her close to him
And the made out in the moonlight
She couldn’t believe she was
Making out with who was a punk Buddha
She never kissed a Buddha.