..tanka style

Original Version -

threshold
step
     into the night
and love is pulled away with the door
replaced
       with a mewling wall of horror
step out and meet winter
  exposure    invites my death
                                with a snarl

tanka style version

notes :

'the moon's following me'
my five year olds delight
a clear winter day
an only child  stalked by the moon
the importance he feels

(i hope it is)

another tanka poem

i have been trying my hand at tanka poems recently :)

tanka style

notes :

 windows and doors
form a segregation
  depression builds
a rage of snow outside
i finished doing the weather stripping

dry heat headaches and orange peel scented caulking