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Split Mar 2020
As the monitor beeped
your heart beat no more.
I held your hands,
felt you go.

What your soul once inhabited
turned pale cold.
Hands that held me in my youth
became skin and bones,
no final warmth to heal my core.

You were a gift sent from above,
why did I never think you'd go back up?

As pressure rose in my chest,
and blinding tears raced towards my heart,
I fully understood how we could impact others.

By the time you met me, your life already seemed complete.
Goals and success now stories you could tell.
Selflessly, your wisdom was passed down to many,
including myself.

And although I represent
a small percentage of your life,
you make up over half of mine.

To this day it feels unreal.
So many things I wish to share
but now your home reads "for sale".

Every day you cross my mind,
every night I pray to God,
pray for heaven to be real.

I'm well aware you still live on
within those you touched with love.

But it's not the same.

In heaven your spirit rightfully soars,
therefore my life must be grand,
grand enough to reach the skies.
Then perhaps I'll see you forevermore.
Split Mar 2020
Back in 2nd grade
a girl told me
that my crush
thought I was fat.

On that day
my mother held me
as I cried.
On that day,
I became fat.

In 4th grade,
I overate
to cope with trauma.

In 5th grade,
I looked in the mirror
and felt old words
pound in my brain.

my mother told me to **** in,
I was only in 6th grade.

On that summer,
I began to play tennis.
I was told I could be great,
If I lost some weight.

In 7th grade,
a boy told me
I was chubby.

At 12 years old
Eating stressed me out
but eating was how I dealt with stress.

Now at 17,
I call BS.

I was nowhere near fat.
When I was chubby,
I had the right.
I almost lost my mother,
weight is what was gained.

My peers,
along with those who cared,
rewired me to hate myself,
while begging
me to love myself.

By age 13,
changing rooms brought panic,
snacks brought guilt,
whilst mirrors screamed
hateful thoughts.

But now I know the truth.

Words matter.
Split Mar 2020
the alcohol I use
disinfects the cuts you caused.

the alcohol you use
sterilizes sober fears.

polluted breaths
release vulnerable thoughts.

your voice turned into waves,
translated by my ears.
melted down into my blood
pumping round and round
with no way out.

although I had been cleansed,
your poison reached my brain.

and as addiction goes,
relapse occurs just as we near
a year of moderation.
Abstinent of each others
verbal affection.

mistakes have been made
but they call for a change.
Split Mar 2020
Are people aware that in order to have children, they have to take into account much more than whether they are getting old, or whether they are financially stable, or whether they live in a good school district? This is another human we are talking about. When you actively decide to raise a child, it’s so much more than just yourself and personal joy. Do adults ever stop and think about the pain their children will inevitably face, a lot of which they will unconsciously inflict onto them? They say parents want what's best for their kids but if that were true then they'd look at all the things they hated when they were children and they’d try to make it better. If you remember feeling dumb in school, hating the same cycle every day, not truly learning, then why are you placing your kid in the same traditional program? If you remember being hurt by your own parents, then ensure that you pay attention to every single thing you say to your own breed. As you well know it, your words will affect them for the rest of their lives, their traumas will be your responsibility. Figure out how you will make it better for them. Recall how your models of reality were created and how they affected you, odds are that you will portray those onto your children.
It seems as though people have children just as they impulsively buy a new pair of shoes; without much consideration, only seeing the good side of things. Yeah, it’s a traditional experience that our bodies are built for, but that is a gift. We treat gifts with love and respect. Just because you can doesn’t mean you are ready. Having children is such a selfish thing. Most people do it because they want to, not because they are prepared. No one is ever truly prepared, but that doesn’t mean you should just jump in.
Parents are respected because they try their best, but at times they try their best much too late. By the time those kids are teens, prepare for resentment and hate. You did this to them. It was all you.
This world is filled with billions of people hurting one another, who are you to add one or even more humans onto that?
Split Mar 2020
I need you
to not need me.

We're so young,
soon we'll be old.

I'd hate for time to pass,
while emotions remain stuck.

All because when I needed me,
I gave myself to you.

Leaving no time
to mentally grow
at the same pace
as my body would.
Split Mar 2020
imagination allows for limited limitations.

human instinct believes
bigger is better,
bigger is stronger,
bigger creates a winner.

yet, how is
a tiny infectious agent
enough to knock out
thousands of larger,
supposedly smarter
humans?

all matter is made up of minuscule atoms,
all great things are built from something so small
it cannot be seen: an idea.

the worry we choose to inherit
obliterates these incredible possibilities

stress piles up inside minds,
outwardly protruding onto flesh.
wrinkles create crevices
for hopes and dreams
to hideaway.

let those goals
come out and play,
give them the time of day.

there's no manual to life,
forget the rules people mandate,
it's time for you to choose your fate.
Life’s a lot more fun when you recall what you’re capable of.
Nina Mar 2020
I hope to see you for the last time
I know you're happier without me
I know you found someone better
But i still wish to see you
I want to look at your face for the last time
Talk to you for the last time
Spend my time with you for the last time
I wish to know
What am i lacking
That made you choose someone else
Cole Mar 2020
I cried last night.
For my words unsaid.
She will graduate and he will move.
And nothing will be the same.
That last song got me, And I cried.
I cried, mourning him.

-3nwlry
My two best friends are going to be leaving me,
and I'm really scared for it to happen.
I love them.
pnam Dec 2019
Been a while living in a box so tight,
Sure the heart has healed alright,
Bad memories now sealed so tight,
Soothing new melodies push dreams to flight,
A heart yearning to share new days and night,
For a future sure that will be bright,
Search for a mate now sure feels so right,
A new beginning.. starts tonight.
Dated Dec 2019
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