#split poems on Hello Poetry

The Half-Blood Prince Nov 2019

Somewhere down the long-trodden roads of victories and defeats past…
Lies someone important of whom I once passed.
Ensnared in cobweb illusions, tangled and dusty,
The framework of a dream allowed to go rusty.

A promenade down Main Street in an overly-gaudy town
That I’ve put up for sale along with the proprietor’s crown.
Vacant of residents and home only to my well-paid thespians.
I’ve all but forgotten what’s really behind the thick paint and masquerading pedestrians.

Alleyway after alleyway, building by building, block by treacherous block,
Follow the fragmented visions of whoever was left behind the lock.
A familiar voice in the courtyard, a smell from the Bakers.
At the auction there’s a beautiful coffin, but like the town it hasn’t any takers.

Shadows of long-dead flames lick and lap upon crossing each and every threshold:
Memoria’s bonfire of tongues faithful to the illusion they’ve been tasked to uphold.
Wandering at will; inspecting behind each and every door.
But it’s the room I can’t find that here anchors my soul.

#ptsd #trauma #split

Split Nov 2019

Read this when you can't.

look up
look down
look all around

four walls,
a ceiling,
and so much more.

drowning in privilege
yet always on edge

search for adventures
in seek of misfortunes.

dive towards the lowest of lows
in hopes of reaching
the ultimate ditch of self-destruction.

from there,
no more soil is left to destruct
but the walls still stand for us to climb.

climb back
to the light
of dreams,
of hopes,
ambition.

recall a wishful purpose,
ignite your selfless self.

people die
from what we joke about
people starve
for what we throw.
yet we cry
for the unknown.

grasp those tools of knowledge,
opportunities, and community.
Utilize them, abuse them, engulf them,
unite them as a part of you.
Then provide to whom lack what you now know.

#split

Split Nov 2019

Thank You For This Loss

How did you go from loving me
to projecting pain as you look me in the eyes?

Was it your shame or your guilt?
Was it my insecurity or lack of preservation?

I should have treasured each moment,
acknowledged why I amazed you.
I should have verbally reciprocated
my adoration and gratitude.

Instead,
I let silence take place of what you deserved.
I'm
sorry.
I too am at fault.

But, I've grown, and I've learned.
Your absence acting as the catalyst.
So thank you.
Thank you for
falling
out
of
love.

#split

Split Nov 2019

Imposter

I'm admired,
some may say.

My kindness,
my courage,
my unbarred humor.

Carefree vegan,
ambitious dreamer,
propelled activist.

All these describe me,
but do they define me?

Often times . . .
after I reach my limit,
I lay in bed.
Stare up, in disappointment.
My past sins creeping in,
my future faults a movement away.

All it takes
is one wrong thought.
Just with that,
artificial confidence radiates my body.

Unaccomplished goals
drown within a drink.

Past paralyzations
demolished with moshes
and blurry vision.

My tongue shaping unfamiliar words,
executed with inescapable dread.

While cool wind invades pores,
thoughts of others
blare in ears.
With such fast-paced nights,
tomorrow becomes unworthy.

But once midnight strikes,
blotched mascara
rests on my cheeks.

Back in bed,
familiarity ignites.
I say my prayers,
my thanks,
my sorrows,
then once again,
float off towards my dreams.

#split

Split Sep 2019

The Sun Must Set For it to Rise.

Do you ever have a designated **** up day?

Bulging organs
nearing capacity.

Silver omissions
drenched in chaotic acid.

Floors swept by tarnishing stress:
piles of knowledge meant for the future,
piles of words nursing the past,
piles of tools aiding in mental destruction.

Yeah me too.

#split

Split Sep 2019

Live to Tell

I've gotten used to sitting in my room.

A bright screen lighting up my face,

fingers typing at the speed of light,

reminiscing on all the things I used to feel.

Indeed, I want to say much more,

but . . .

there comes a point
where words
have served their deed.

Where there's not much more to say.
For what has been lived,
has
    been
          indulged,
              digested,
                 and passed through.

Go explore,
experience the unimaginable.
Then return to pump hearts full of:
        pain,
                  love,
                           insight,
               and undetected truisms.

#split

Split Sep 2019

Goodnight.

It's time to sleep.
Allow your lids to cover the sins of today.

#split

Split Sep 2019

Let me flee.

What if one day
I disappeared,

Deleted my virtual existence,

Stopped seeing my regular friends,

Lost contact with all?

What if one day
I stopped wishing
For who I could one day be,

And instead,
Became that being?

What if one day
I turned off the world around me,

And did all the things I ever wished?

In a month I’d rid my old skin,
Sweat off my past disappointments,
Reminders of sin.

In a month my hair would grow
To lengths of which I myself paved,

In a month
My knowledge of
Culture ,
Academia,
and Myself,
Would expand.

But in that month
I’d lose my friends.
Hurt those who simply cared and wondered.

What would that make me?
Just as bad as those
Who urge me to disappear?

Or just as good as those
Who promote self-evaluation?

There is indeed a middle balance.
But that . . .
that's for the healthy-minded.

I remember when I truly wished to escape to a land where I was unrecognizable. I'm glad I've gotten better since the day I had originally written this poem.

#split