I walk through the halls
like a forgotten ghost
everyone looks through me
like they can't see me
but to be honest
it's better if they don't see me
because when they do
the things they say
oh, the things they say
hurt like a knife to the chest
the pounding of my heart
spills the blood of anger
and seeping sadness
and splatters on the walls

at school, I barely say a word
I like to be unheard
they laugh at me
very indiscreetly
I hate it
I wish they would quit
my anxiety knows no bounds
my heart erratically pounds
I don't speak in fear
because they make fun of what they hear
the whispers, the laughter
at home, I'll replay it after
I pretend not to notice
but my anger and embarrassment threaten to surface

I used to wonder how people fell asleep in class
Now I wonder how they stay awake

I used to wonder how people failed their classes
Now I wonder how they pass

I used to wonder how people were alone
Now I wonder how they have so many friends

I used to wonder how people were sad
Now I wonder how to be happy

I used to wonder why people cut
Now I wonder how they live without self harm

I used to wonder what it's like to stay up late
Now I wonder what'd it be like to sleep enough

I used to wonder how they thought something was wrong with school
Now I wonder how somebody sees something right

I used to wonder how people want to die
Now I wonder how they stay alive

here i sit
in my class
and then i'm knocked
flat on my *ss

i thought that i was smart
my teacher told me so
but listening to this conversation
i'm going loco

i can't understand what's happening
why should i even try
but i do need to graduate
so here i sit and cry

on the inside