sometimes when I write
the words are a struggle
but other long nights
they only cause trouble
burning holes like they're running in place
barely keeping still as if ready for a race
barely containing themselves behind my swollen face
broken and ****** and so full of disgrace
***** and lonesome like old mattress stains
and yet I still envy those who are not me

wouldn't you?

I'm not gay but I know what it's like to hide
to keep a door closed to whatever is inside
to be ashamed and afraid for no good reason
to lose yourself causing you to commit treason

but the broken are beautiful as the weak hide
those that were the cause of our demise
like ants under a glass with nowhere to run
karma comes for all of us no matter how dumb

my eyes are heavy with the weight of my words
and the longer I sleep the less that I hurt
but I see you in my dreams every once in a while
the way that you move always made me smile
until you disappear and I choke while I scream
stuck in the false hope of death they call a dream

Our bond formed by fate can never be broken because with each rising sun you enter my dawdling mind and my heart begins to quaver like the birds of freedom
Too soon, the sunlight glitters
As the dawn turns to gray to gold
Her 'i love you' came leisurely
Like the monsoon pouring down on a cracked roof
There are fondness songs in her eyes singing lullabies
When she hover pin me down with her stare
There are love poems on the tip of her tongue
I taste while kissing her
There are good vibes that surpassed all tribes in giving off the positivity i need for my stubborn reality
For her meaningful silence
That gave me better comprehensions
I would dauntlessly lay out to her
That the way i feel for her
They say drowning is bad, but how about
Drowning in love?
I want to swim in the deepest parts of her soul
Above all powers off i float
Higher than all earthly treasure
To a kingdom without measure
Above all myths made stone
Vast than every regal throne
Wild night's that last through dawn
Rocking and rolling out in my lawn
She wraps one around in the cadence of her voice, like old songs one had forgotten about
I' am feeling the rhythm and melody of her sway
Divine ecstasy in pleasures
I am feeling so sublime.

just another cigarette break
as my hands shake
and my thoughts race
and I'm afraid
that it's too late
to save what left

just another breath
and another rest
but I don't have another left
in my hollow chest
so I detest
your value of value

I can't explain
why it rains
inside my brain
as I fade
into a claim
that tomorrow will be better

Do
Not
Think
You know
How I think
Because there
Are things inside
That you cannot see
And it's not fair for me
To pretend that you are
A Godsend or some kind
Of beautiful fury taken out
On my mortal frame for the
Sake of keeping me in line
So don't hold back, please
There's no way for me to be
Sure of what isn't the end
And you knew me so well
That it doesn't really matter
What you say or do because
Losing you is the only thing
That hurts more than getting
Stabbed in the back and I
Am really almost positive
That they are the same thing
And all you are is
The aftermath of
What would have
Been an earth
Shattering love
Or a fragile sun
That brightly
Imploded on
Itself the moment
It realized what
Was in it's near
Future.

its a cold and broken sky
that shines its light tonight
and the snow on the ground
that slips into the night

My voice cracks my words fall
the floor turns to void
a broken hallelujah escapes
as I disappear beneath their ploy