Contemporary madness -
Craving more - with no subtraction
    "In game?" - involve
    Participation - of the thought  
    Most mimic those who disconnected
    Most play as virgins - unaware
    Not daring to examine bearings
        Of social roles and biological demandings
        Of what is "Me" - not a direction - *****
        It teaches taking human role
        Humane is engineers laughter
        "It's sickening to see you choose an owe
        When you repeat same neural patterns"
        You peak plateau - a weary and indifferent
            Flaw - begs you to quit the brawl
            Unless you choose as part of the absurd
            A conscious action of self-talk
            With none of "I" from egoistic brothel
                At last to see the stupid joke
                With it they made a 'wear'
                Augustly awful is its fate
                So desperate to be the wearer

I stayed up again
Forgot how to dream
My hands don’t feel like they’re part of me
Staring through the ceiling cracks
Waiting for the sky to fall back

I move like someone else’s thought
Half-formed and already lost
My shadow doesn’t line up right
It slips behind
Avoids the light

Why does it hurt to know I’m real
If I’m just dust behind the wheel
And when I’m gone I’ll lose my face
No time, no light, no empty space
I’ll be blank earth, I’ll be blank earth

The air is thick, my bliss erased
I blink and the room forgets my face
The walls pull back, erase the trace
Of everything that knew my face

No heaven waiting
No light inside
Just silence stacked a mile high
And all the noise
I made in life
Will vanish in a single night

Why does it hurt to know I’m real
If I’m just dust behind the wheel
And when I’m gone
I’ll lose my face
No time, no light, no empty space
I’ll be blank earth, I’ll be blank earth

I won’t know I ever was
No fear, no love, no pulse, no buzz
And If I scream, who’s left to hear?
The echo dies…. Then disappears

Nihilism in cancerous
Mutating uncontrollably
Growing silently

But, with or without cancer
People die anyway
Whether quickly by a bullet
Or slowly by a disease
Or simply, heart choosing to rest.

Death is inevitable
Whether it chose to come suddenly
Or it's been waited patiently.
It will come.

Without caring when and how.
Whether when we're alone,
Or when love was already gone
Or leaving love alone.
It will ends.

Everything will leave,
Everything will gone,
Everything will end.

I just want someone to hold my hand
Im not requesting that you hold me up
Im not asking you to wipe away my tears
I just want you to let me cry it out with you near
I often would rather be alone
because if I like you- I'll like you too much
your absence would send me off the edge
don't start nothing with me if you're prepared to dissappear
with little to no discussion before
Im too fragile and my heart is on my sleeve
I hate layers cuz they overwhelm me
so simple things move my heart
I have high walls but the walls are thin
delicacy might as well be my middle name
guess that could be another definition of faith

the answering machine let out a beep
with a message soon following
just words stringing together sentences
phonetics, tongues branching the space
between syllables
not a voice, a sound decorated with an accent
created by a language that has taken
all of history to form

and i slept through it all

you can hear the transmission towers
around my house
buzz if you walk underneath them
electricity with somewhere to be
shoving breakfast in its mouth
and rushing out the door
to my neighbors and their 32 inch
flatscreen TV

and i slept through it all

the DVD player will keep replaying
the film if you don't unplug it
one continual loop all night long
scene after scene, cinematic sequences
following quickly in succession
without a hitch, without fault
one actor triggering the other
one domino falling upon another

crashing and burning

spiraled far into the nighttime
i woke up
to unfamiliar noises and unseen voices
people made of black and white splotches
projected from a box aflame with static
and i decided right then
a starring role in the world wasn't for me
falling back into sleep

the movie continued on forever
and i slept through it all