If you want to be my partner then you need to grovel
If you want to be my partner then swallow all of your daydreams
If you want to be my partner then don't go round saying mean things

I'll promise to take great good care of you and kiss all of your little boo boos
I'll promise to lie with a glistening smile
So bright it'll erase all of your pain you had with me,
You'll melt like candy in a wrapper on a hot day
Leaving imprints of memories on the sizzling sidewalk.

Don't worry darling, I'll wipe those tears with my very own hands, not his or theirs or hers, (I won't let them) but of mine, the one that gave you all of this trauma.

Isn't it bittersweet how you're on the swing and I'm pushing you like you've always dreamed?
Fabricating me in your mind while I'm manipulating your reality?
You don't think I see the spark in your eyes when your high?
In a moment I can just push you off it & down into the dirt you go.

Let me tell you what once was
and what has come to pass,
We skip over the names
of chemicals ingested
otherwise we might be here
forever, boring you
with the finer details of our sorcery.

Some psychoactives were ingested
and they had great effect, but
as that garrulous fiend
lost himself to/in guileless babbling
about some concomitant companion,
A friend, an event, special he felt
in the company of a human
who made him feel like an adult,
Selfish octopus
what you must think of me, but
why should I care/does it matter?
I do because it's what humans do
and there's some human left in me
yet (hopefully.) Tell me what occurred
on the banks of the Lethe?
Don't answer that.
"Not what but why" was actually asked.
My, this has been
a most meandering
experience said the
author who promptly
resigned and fell asleep
doubtful how anyone who
actually bothered to read this
most prosaic mess should have
managed. It does have a fine name
if nothing else, and undertones
of narcissism always help in
the casting of a fair spell.

Floating down this
preserved memory,
Way down on
the banks of
the Lethe
where
memory
dares not
ordinarily
stir (up whatever
does occur), therein

we find ourselves asking
why

We are woven together - I cannot free myself

No matter how many ties I cut

An older lady came to the pharmacy
To pick up her oxycodone twenties,
Her copay wasn't much money,
Double counted a hundred twenty
As close to me as you stand,
I explained her doctor prescribed Narcan.
In case of overdose, one spray up the nose
Can save yourself or someone else.
She twisted her face to me real funny,
And said "What do you take me for a druggie?"
She took the vial, left the spray
As I waved with a have a nice day.

She felt accused by me, in a huff,
Threw the pills up in her cabinet.
As fate would have it, her granddaughter
Came over and spotted the bottle with red cap.
Imagining the high if she could get that,
Imagining the euphoria as she stole that.
Sneaking off into the bathroom
Downing tap, she consumed a few.

Something wasn't right, her breath felt light,
Disoriented trying to read the label,
Hands shaking, feeling her body dive,
She saw the number twenty, thinking they were fives.
Unresponsive, her grandmother runs in
With the sound of a heavy crash,
She waits for paramedics who arrive at last.
Only to announce, nothing to be saved
Now she digs a grave for pride over a nasal spray.

I thought I could save you from the your own demons
That lingered behind those empty eyes
But if I knew then what I know now
I should have ran and never looked back
As everything felt wrong right from the start
The love bomb
The mind games
The death stares
All those were red flags!
But I lied to myself
I lied to myself that me and you were destined
I lied to myself
That you were the chosen one, yang to my yin
I lied to myself
That you were my mirror and I was staring at my reflection
But you were just a mirage
Putting up a charade while you mimicked me
Took down my walls and entrance gain
I was so lost then but now I'm found
If you ask me I know better now
As for you, you'll never find what you're looking for
No amount of love on this earthplane can rescue your fallen soul back to light
For you need no saving, all you're after is your next source of energy, a chain of supply is what your ego craves.
Just know you can hide but never ran
Your Mr nice guy masks will soon fall off
Everything will lay bare and that void within will show
©Sonia Ettyang

I wanted to explore your Universe
But all I got was a black hole