I am sitting here:
On a bright Winter’s day,
Squinting into the sunshine,
Seeing the sparrows climb
The fences, trees, rooftops and leaves,
And I ponder --
Have I lost my “mojo”?!
I am feeling flat; my ego’s splat
Against the wall of hope;
Have I run out of things to say?
Have I no whim enough to dance and play
With letters and words, sentences and phrases?
Is this it?!
Have I lost my “Po-Jo”?
Do I need to get up and shake my "J-Lo?"
Or "Bon-Bon" if you're more a Ricky Martin fan!

When one's life has hit rock bottom
At the ripe old age of nineteen
When the apple of life has gone rotten
And hopeful plans wither to faded dreams

When one's confidence is shot
And one's hope has slowly waned
When one's faith in love is all but lost
And one's self-esteem's been drained

When one's spent their life to overcome
The pain of losing their one true one
When one's reached out to touch only ice
To be judged and rejected once, twice, thrice

When one's messages are deleted unread
And pictures cannot fill the hole in one's heart
When the only chance to hear your voice is in one's head
One begins the onerous process of falling apart

When healing has begun and the dull throb doesn't beat one jaded
When the sunlight breaks the clouds for the first time in dark ages
When the black hole ***** a little less and the stars aren't so faded
One will still be here waiting to hear an answer sought by fools and sages

If I could go to heaven
just to see it from above

I dont want to die just yet
but I can bet
..it'd be very good to know
what it's been like....

For you
to love me.

And would I hear your heart break?
And hear the ocean deep and wide?
Would I feel your heartache?
Would the truth in me confide?
Would I step outside....
of myself
and interview the truth?
Reveal the secrets of our youth?
..that lie within....
The things we've seen and done
the places that we've been
and we'll go back to when thing
begin?

So I could finally know,
all the things I've wondered on this Earth?

And will I finally know-
What everything is worth?

This sounds to me
like an expensive carpet ride
& maybe sticking with my pride
I think I'll push my luck
& by lightning may be struck
So guess I'll have to wait
until I have a turn...
to reveal the truth
in everything that I've loved...
and learned,

If I know that now...
I might...
change the spell I put on you...
so I'll avoid
to hear...
the truth...for now my dear...
but do not fear...
because...... I love you.
All Rights Reserved * 2016 Cherie Nolan