"I can love you and still not like the choices you've made."

Did you know?
Did you know that I didn't understand when you told me these things?
That I was too caught up in teenage angst and feelings?

"You can hate me, that's okay because it isn't my job to be your friend."

Did you know?
Did you know how much it would hurt to learn these lessons?
That though you told me, I would need to live them?

"One day you'll understand, Fire Heart."

You knew.
You knew I wasn't one to take the short cut.
That some things just had to be learned the hard way.

"Life isn't always fair, Fire Heart."

You knew.
You knew how painful those lessons could be.
That's why you tried to give me your hard earned cheat sheet.

"Sometimes you just have to smile until the world is bright again."

Don't worry, Mama.
You did right by me.
You gave me all the tools I ever might need.
Some I used to get to where I am,
Some I use daily to just keep me sane.
Still I know that the rest will have their time and place,
to guide me through life's maze.

"One day you'll have children of your own, you'll thank me then."

So thank you, Mama,
For not being my friend.
For raising me right so I could be the person I am.
Your wisdom is passed on as it's needed,
To the tiny people that I've created.

"You'll never know how strong you truly are until you're faced with the impossible and still refused to give up."

Thank you, Mama,
For your wise, wise words.
For the cheat sheet that you passed on with love and care.
These are the things that helped me survive,
In a world that tries to eat us alive.

"Circumstances don't define you, Fire Heart; your choices do that."

Tiny sliver of wood
placed in accident
beneath fingernail
or under skin
stings greater
in the moment
than gunshot or knife.
For a splinter
always pokes
at our carelessness
and pierces straight
our most useless
*****: pride

You lie in bed
as you lie
in your head.
Always, filling one another
with dread
and regret.
.
Let thy divine intervention occur instead.
Let go of all that clouds your head
.
He sleeps a little too much to the left,
she takes up all the rest
of the space
with no protest.
.
Distance
drips from every scene.
Not meaning to seem mean
he leaves her completely
only in dreams
Everything else is just
the between.
.
She
will
try
not
to
scream.
Though she senses something
is not what it seems
.
can't ever figure out
what it all means.
body language
she never learned to perceive
.
one might have seen
had they observed
the rehearsed
routine
.
Now she is versed
at seeming serene
trapped within
the machine,
living unclean.
.
There.was.always.something.in.between.