The throbbing headache and nausea
I can endure; I've had worse.
Right now I could cry,
such a raw hope consumed me
as I thought about you, desperate.
It was still dark for me then,
when I needed you. Now it's day.
It brings a true smirk to my face
to know you are nothing more
than a night of binge drinking:
a foolish part of my youth,
a consequence of boredom.
I could not hold your liquor,
I vomited all that bile you said to me
in the hedges outside. Don't fret,
this is not a bad memory, in fact
you might never be a memory at all.
I am well. I will drink better and
far more dangerous poisons.
I am today, you are only last night.

The barking shakes me awake
******, now I must face the day
But first things first I gotta say
"Thank G-d all is ok".

Realize that I am lying on the floor
a direct result of always wanting more
Like a child, I crawl to the door
Like the elderly, my memory is poor.

Last night was something else
Fun, as far as I can tell-
but a pungent odor my nostril smells
Entering my bedroom I let out a yell.

Faceless bodies fill the beds
Their deformed limbs fill me with dread
Reaching out so I can join them, dead
Fearing delusion I shake my head.

As I run from the safety of my home
I look to find that I am all alone
The winding roads scattered with the bones
of all the companions I thought I had known.

The life I know, gone in a flash
The darkest of thoughts arise as I dash
I fall to the ground in a sudden crash
with tears in my eyes I think of the past.

Through the tears I look up to see
The looming water tower judging me
with new-found strength I climb it peak
Alone in the world I am finally free.

On top the world I fall fall down and pray
That he knows that I never meant to stray
That tonight he'll keep the monsters at bay
That he'll forgive my sins and wipe them away.

i woke up,
in a different clothing,
and a different bed from
mine.
the gray t-shirt stuck
to my sweaty skin,
and i got out of the untidy
bed, to find the source
of the delicious pancakes
smell.
what i found weren't
pancakes,
but a lying, lifeless
body on the kitchen
floor and burnt
breakfast.

Waking up the morning after,
I can only recall the excessive laughter.
The great vibes shared in one moment in time,
It was all so beautiful, the highest of highs.
(****)
My glance embarrassingly detects
the frightful fact the mirror reflects.
A bathroom tagged with the night's mistakes,
Rorschach like markings of drinks and rare steaks.
Always said "Yes", lacking all inhibition.
I wish last night I lived its definition.
So I readjust my head and all of the fixtures,
and pray to god no one took any pictures.