The only thing worse
Than hearing a child gasp
If only to breathe-

Parents' hushed whispers
Tucked away in dim corners
'Whose turn is it now.'

When I say calm down
I mean calm the **** down or
watch me shamefully

try and control all
of my impulses to run
or to brace myself

against the blows I
always knows are waiting right
behind shouted words.

Though your love is a
truth, it remains one that I
need to hear from you.

When you are not here
to help me fight my fears, I
run from them- and you.

I am losing this
battle, the one to stay here
against my instincts.

You set off every
alarm bell I have ever
rigged up against pain.

Every alarm bell I
constructed against the world-
never intended

Why do i always do this,
i always seem to be that one,
who try a little too hard,
for people who would only put half the effort in.