If you looked into my eyes,
What would you see?
Would you see the growing sadness
That I've hidden for so long?
Would you see the tears
That I choke back everyday?
If you looked deeply enough,
Would you see the ******* pain
That consumes my very soul?
Would you see just how
******* hard it is
For me to go through every day
As if nothing was wrong?
Just look into my eyes,
Truly look and tell me,
What do you see?

My lips are moving but my brain is not
I've got my smile handy, I'll never be caught
I'm nervous but it'll never show on my face
I'll pretend I fit, I belong in this place.

My hands aren't clammy, I don't have a stutter
My voice is steady though my legs are rubber
I'm sitting down, no one gets to see
I'm nervous, I'm unsure, but I can fake happy.

I'm an actor, a professional, I'm perfect at what I do
I'm smiling, I'm laughing, but, god, how I hate you.
I fly through moods as though it's my sole purpose
I go by an alias so no one knows I wrote this.

I'm nervous, I'm nervous, I'm ******* terrified
But far be it from me to be typically traumatized
I'm a 'survivor', I'm doing just fine, I'm not panicking
I'll never display the bad moments publicly.