The guilt in my chest.
But I can't go back.
I know.
The future is unhealthy and unstable
But the guilt of disappointing everyone that liked us.
Do I go back?
Fake it all
Act like everything is alright to make everyone happy.
What do I do....

The marks you left behind after the bruises faded
A flinch at a hesitant touch
Afraid to be alone with someone
Afraid to be touched in a hug
It isn't on purpose
I swear
I just panic at touches even by family
From what you left when the bruises had healed over

If anybody should be angry at the other its me,
angry at myself for the shame,
no need to point a finger or hide behind it,
not willing to call myself a failer
but i know i have failed.

Too ashamed to let everyone see me weeping,
not even myself from that mirror reflecting my loss back at me.

I was too proud,
believed in myself,
knew i was going to make it,
but no i failed,
and all it has done is to bring back my losses from the past.

To ashame to let the world see me,
i have locked myself away,
i cant even walk out of the house,
it feels like the whole world knows my loss.

Too proud,
too confident,
but now all my confidence has been washed away into the drain.

I am mostly ashamed for i failed to make my Mama proud.