Listen.

I know you're moving on.
You have every right to be and it's none of my business anymore because
//we're not together//
Anymore.

I never cared in the past.
//I've never felt sick.//
I've never lost sleep.
//I've never lost all feeling.//
When previous
Exs
Moved on.

But you were the first.
Of everything.

To me
You were my everything.

First real love //First real ****// First real heartbreak //First real loss//

You
Were
My
First

And it feels like
Everything
And
Nothing

Now you're gone.

And I crave that connection
//And I ******* hate it//
And I fear it
//And I search for it//

But

Without you

All of life
Is
Make-believe.

I don’t know if being pregnant
Was on my mind
Or the fear of being left behind
Unable to rewind,
Back to the time
In which I was able to make good decisions
To think with great precision
To look beyond  a short sighted vision.

Taking a risk,
Over someone who doesn’t care for you
Lack of resolve to take care of you
A person who doesn’t care for Love
And I simply paying the price
For disobeying the king above
Because I did wrong instead of doing right

His final straw has been cut,
And unfortunately I am out of luck
****.
Yes I am what you call, f**ed