You made me a poet
You made my pencil and paper meet
My words hit paper
All I am is a product of what you have made me to be
You made me a poet

I am trying to find solace in silence
Comfort in quiet
Safety in my slumber
As seasons of friendship end I struggle with the idea silence
Notifications on but my phone doesn't buzz
Work, school, work, school, study, practice study.
No need for texts if you don't have time
Breathe
Sit and breathe
Breathe and sit
I have never quite sat in silence
Always has there been noise
The noise in my head
The noise of my life
For one of the first times in my life in sit comfortably in silence

Everytime I look in the mirror I smile
Not because I think im pretty
But because i don't want the mirror girl to be sad
Because to me she is separate
I don't want that girl to see me cry
Everytime I look in the mirror I smile
Not because I'm happy
but because she's pretty
Even if I am ugly
Inside out and all over
That girl will always be pretty
Everytime I look in the mirror I smile
Because that girl is me
She deserves to be pretty
She deserves to be happy
Inside out
And all over

I wanna be more than a warm body someone you want to see,
not see,
look into my eyes and see
See me
more than what you ever could be
contain so much pain suffering sorrow, an anguish,
but it is so beautiful.
So wonderful
so full of happiness and smiles and good things and bad.
I want to be more than a warm body.
I want you to mean something to me
Someone I mean
someone I see
Someone I breathe
Someone I need
I wanna be more than a warm body to you

I don't remember a time where I didn't write.

I've always written down everything that's made me upset since I learned how to spell sad

S.A.D.

A feeling I know all too well

I can't quite say i'm sad all the time, but sad lingers

It sits in the back of my head, begging for me to use the steak knife at the dinner table to turn my arms into lined paper.

I've always been a writer

Papers and pen

A shield and a sword

My words sting like daggers, but they are shielded and locked between the confounds of composition books

The thoughts usually hidden for the sakes of others flow freely between these gaps and lines.

I've always been a writer

I'm told I never stop talking

But the words I speak are carefully chosen

What's written, What lies within that spiral notebook those are my real words

I've always been a writer.

My notes app
Described only as a collection of my adolescence
The loss and gain of my teenage life
You dear.
You made it into my notes app
What an honor
Hold the presses
If you hurt me real bad or I hurt you
Sad, Mad, Absolutely disgusted
All of my everything
Written
Told
Plainly stated
My life.

Sick with fever
Dreaming death
I come closer with every breath

Coughing red
I lament
Cursed plague, my life's now spent

Eyes are streaming
Chest is full
I can feel the Reaper's pull

The collectors call
"Bring out your dead!"
Pass me by, I'm not ready yet

One more breath
One more day
Oh Lord save me from the grave!

But the sores still weep
Yet I smile
Over here, one more for the pile

Do you see my long good hair
My golden skin
My slanted eyes
Yes, I'm Mixed
I'm totally the prettiest girl here
I mean come on,
I'm mixed

You ******* wish you were me
Your man wants me
I'll ****** him up quick,
Yes, I'm Mixed
Call me a ***** you're just jealous

I'm mixed
This is how you portray me
I'm only pretty because I'm mixed
I'm only loved because I'm mixed

you say I don't understand being a black woman
My mommas black, my grandmother black and the mother before her was black too
Am I not black and a woman?
that's how she raised me
I understand that black women are treated the worst
I know black women aren't protected
I know black women are under valued
Unappreciated, Abused, used  
I know that black women are strong as ****
I know they're beautiful
I know that they're the blueprint for every Kardashian and Jenner

You say I don't understand the real struggle of being black
I'm not black enough to understand
I don't know how to be black

You say I'm white washed because the way I talk
You say I'm not black because
I don't equate ghetto with being black
I know what my ancestors went through
They fought for our freedom
They fought for equality
They fought for our education
They fought for every opportunity that we have today
I Know our ancestors didn't fight for us to just be equated with ghetto

Yes, I'm mixed
This doesn't excuse the other race of me
They say I'm not Asian enough too
I fight with them too

I'm tired of not fitting in
I'm tired of people nitpicking my percentage
I'm tired of fighting my own identity
I'm tired of being told I'm only special because I'm mixed

I'm Mixed
That doesn't make me special
So, go on tell me what I am
See me how you want to see me
What you say won't change who I am
It doesn't make me any less of what I am
A black and Asian woman or
An Asian and black woman

Yes, I am mixed