The aroma of jasmine
announces my radiant
sorcery of washing hair
after the seven days since.

Touch my newly softened skin
as I let my towel slip.
Behold my breath so minty
Kiss my newly moistened lips

I can make no promises
on when I’ll do this again.
Thank you for holding me still
until we get back to then

Thoughts racing
Pupils dilated
Put on my eyeliner
On ****** eyes
No sleep for nights
Red lipstick
Sweet smell of parfume
To cover the smoke
Sun shines on my pale skin
My whole body shaking
And then I realise
And then I greet
Another manic episode

do you love me Bipolar –
My heart is in a bit of disorder;
ordering my emotions, suspended by
the winds blowing me into my
Mood swings.

Does loving me sometimes feel
too irrational – do I
give you a sense of Phobia; I
cannot Lie; I have

thanatophobia

and the someone I love,
that I fear losing - in All honesty,
is losing myself to Love…

At some point
the pills stop being for you.
They become gifts for those
who care so much
that they don’t want you to die.
They are for the therapists
the doctors
the psych nurses
the health techs
the ER staff
and psychiatrists
desperately rooting for you.
Take them.
Take them until they’re for you again.

..here comes the darkness.
Seeping in every corner.
Covering me like a blanket.

I feel numb,
yet on fire within
a void.

My body &
mind slow down.
& my stomach
in my throat.

I cannot tell
what I'm feeling.
But it's lonely
& dark here.

I cry a thousand tears of pain.
I can barely breathe.

I remember what
someone once
told me.

So I take
3 deep breathes,
close my eyes,
& hold myself close.

This won't last forever.
I know I can fight this.

We've done this
dance many
times before.

I hug myself tighter
as I begin to smile.

I have Bipolar.
My Bipolar does not
have me.

I tell myself
this over & over..

I open my eyes & sigh deeply.

It's going to be okay.
We WILL heal from this.