Poetry By Damian D. (my boyfriend of 2 years after the 16 year relationship with a pathological narcissist)

Your Soul is Tattered

Listen up before you get lit up
Your not a tough guy
Your weak and feeble
Just straight evil
Money don’t equate to ego
So it doesn’t matter
How much you gather
Your soul is tattered
From how you get it
Emptiness never forget
I’ll leave you battered
And a mess
You should have left easy
But all you do is quest
To theft thieving
No you don’t respect
The fact you got nothing left
Your best friend two times
Now you forget he’s smiling down
On his love
He left too soon
And all you do is consume
What he left
A wicked toon
U vile human
Doomed to dwell in hell
Forever sing the blues
Out of tune singing
You ruin every bit of goodness
In another being

Practice “my” traits
Allow the knowledge to flow
I make my food
Servings of protein
Driving alone
Up and about to nowhere
My days seem endless
Distant in my room
Awaken when I see myself perform my life
But is life everything and everyone if we’re all reflections of ourselves

Performing this experience in the now... we are the crowd and dancers

I am you
But my thoughts conquer and the surface is all I see
My ego doesn’t understand
I want to love it so that it shrinks

I’m full from my meal
I miss Sabrina, my dear friend
I’m on this journey, and you’re still in it too somehow
Beauty is when the mind ends
When you just are with what’s infront of you

Cultivating in this state of loneliness

Collecting information
Input
Output
I don’t want to work tonight
The people will dance to the music
I’ll dance to our lives
But still playing my role
Shake my head right
Security
Whatever

Everything is happening in one moment
Sometimes it’s
:/
Sometimes it’s
:)
You know
Either or... it still is... “is”

When it all collapses, your spine tingles
I love my family
I love myself more these days, but it’s hard
My thoughts fall into the processors
Some seem to be “important”
I’m practicing my life
I’m experiencing it all in one
In one breath
I shift in and out
But it’s always there
Either way, I cherish the emotions
The downfalls
The glory moments

I come back to myself
I come to back to all
Behind the curtains
Behind the show
Behind the producers
Behind the mind
Underneath it all
In peace
Dancing in the stillness of it all
So much to think
They come and go
But some are part of me, they are stitched into my mind
I’m going to drink some coffee
This one is everywhere
But inside me
“Meeeee”
I miss myself sometimes
But I’m wrong to
This is fresh
I’m getting used to the handles of this acceptance
A follicle in an ocean
Vessels of ideas walking the earth, ******* each other

Out of place
Out of lane
Life in vain
Observe the pain
Regain my “self” to seek a “self”
Loss of love, lots of doubt
Gain some love, bend some time
Act so cool, create visual ***
Generate from the nothingness
Feel some type of way
There’s no way I can regret
Why should I think about something that’s dead?
I didn’t plan on walking the stage
I do it for my mom, I do it for my dad
And the people that’ll meet
I’m grateful for the insights, I’m lonesome without the help
Some of the most random situations pull me out of hell
This character will lose his mind one day, if there was actually a mind to actualize
It doesn’t hurt to leave
Leaving behind what’s not meant to be
But how do we know without any effort?
It’s the morning
I hope to see you soon
3 weeks ago, I couldn’t look at myself for more than 10 seconds
But I live in a world full of reflection
I don’t sense myself looking at the mirror
Formless forms
I’m ******* myself with unreasonable neglect
My goatee is thick this morning
I’m about to use one of my moms new razors
There’s all and not much to talk about
It sounds crazier when we speak it though
The simplicity of the complex
The complexity of the simplicity
I’ve been sitting on this toilet for too long
Goodmorning world
It’s about the approach
Ugh
7:58am

Attempting to hold on to what is left because I never knew my first.
Imagine, I believed it was mother.
Reminiscing how I long for her nurture and flourished in her scent needing to be everywhere she went.

The moment I saw you I was drawn.
Immediately, I recognized your essences.
The ones you were raised around hadn't notice that all you needed was loving guidance.
You are a light-worker in disguise but not much work have been applied.
Your purpose is to simply bring light.
When will you turn on your brights?