Please don’t tell me
“you’re too young
to be tired.”
I’ll be as tired
as I dang-we’ll please.
There are so many ways
to be “spent”
beyond what you see
physically—
weariness runs more
than skin-deep.
So don’t tell me how
you think I should feel,
because you could
never understand.
My brain, it thrums constantly
and drains me emotionally,
in ways that you
can’t fix with sleep.

A. I. Myles   18 June, 2o19 @athenaeumthoughts

Is this what “it” looks like?
The jumbled and frantic mess of
a wit
without constraint-
without silence,
calm, or congeniality?

Is this what it “feels” like?
A tornado of turbulent misconceptions,
strewn about
like leaves on the wind-
peppered with the biting
chill
of crisp droplets,
soaking through to skin and bone.

Is this “just how it goes”?
When the grey and black blanket of night
and sadness and just existential emptiness
cloud the sky.
When the darkness that surrounds encroaches,
blurring the point where the horizon
meets terra firma.

Would the power lines
connecting the neurological
pathways break?
Would the ceiling of introspection
fly off of the supports that so long
held it in place?

What is left when the
onslaught of the brain
brouhaha slows and only the
photographs, the memories linger;
when the dust of duress settles?

What follows when
the final downpour
of shattered expectations
fall,
leaving the silent and still
dejection
that comes at the end?

Is that the end?

Could I wipe the rain from my eyes,
to see the brightening of the day?
Could I see the illumination of the sun
and the clearing of the sky?
What about the curve of crystalline
precipitation, lingering in empyrean;
brimming with a wash of beauty
known only to those who behold it?

Is that the end?
When and what and
where is the end?

- A. I. Myles   30 May, 2019

Intertwine my troubled mind
With simplicity and blind
Me from the morose truth of things
Be the very thing that brings
Out the best of this world so dark
Open up my heart and spark
Up a life that will be better
Than this listlessness I'm bound to weather
It's no secret that I'll miss
The comfort of my deep abyss
Though it's become so familiar to me
I've longed reach beyond and see
Things without the stormy haze
So ready to step out and blaze
A brand new path to feeling well
No longer do I wish to dwell
On everything that could go wrong
I understand that I am strong
Enough to handle this and in spite
of it all I'll be alright.