#abusiverelationship poems

EtherealOmega Dec 2015

I can still remember
The way things were so sweet and simple
Just two kids happy to be friends and share every moment

I can still remember
Us sharing our first kiss on my bed
Just the simplest kiss of two curious kids

I can still remember
The kisses the came after more and more frequent
And how every time my lips met hers they tingled

I can still remember
Falling for my best friend slowly
Her laugh and smile all I could ever want

I can still remember
All the nights spent in the basement
Curled close under covers stealing secret kisses as a movie played

...I can still remember…
When it all started to change
How the sweet and simple faded replaced with something worse

...I can still remember…
The needy kisses the parted my lips
And how her own felt like fire upon my skin

...I can still remember…
How my best friend slowly became my mistress
How my first love slowly became a sin

...I can still remember…
All the nights spent in the basement
That I came out of with rope burns on my wrists and a fear of restraint

...I can still remember…
Her fangs sinking into the skin at my shoulder
That place still stings and burns sometimes at night

...I can still remember…
Her time and time again leaving for a real boy
Only to come back crying saying I was the only one for her

...I can still remember…
The way my heart shredded itself with every parting
But still found a way to offer itself with every return

...I can still remember…
The first time I didn’t answer her call
The way my heart hurt because it wanted to hear her

...I can still remember…
Both the bad moments and the good with equal fervor
And so I still keep her picture on my wall as a reminder

Sometimes I still think about calling her again
Just to see how she’s doing
...But again I can still remember….
How my heart took her back time and time again no matter how broken
And how I used to convince myself I felt nothing at all

And now I know I can’t risk it
No matter how much I miss every single thing about her
Even the bad nights spend in the basement
...Because I can still remember...
How I would find myself tied back into the cycle
The cycle that almost took my life

I can still remember
And when the memories come knocking
I just need another escape

#friends #fear #change #teens #lovers #remembrance #cycles #abusiverelationship #transboy

Erali Pisce Mar 2015

Perspective.

He turns on my favorite movie.
I always watch it alone.
He doesn't like to see me cry.
I am not allowed to cry.
We're comfortable just staying home.
He is embarrased of me.
I love him.
*He knows

#heartbreak #abuse #alone #boyfriend #power #sweet #abusive #unkind #abusiverelationship #emotionalabuse

In A Roundabout Way Dec 2014

The Old Oak Tree

Mama always told me that he was a no good,
rotten, lowlife
son of a gun

And everybody knew to stay away from him
when the alcohol was running
through his veins

Really though
It was all my fault
For tripping down the stairs

And miscarrying the baby
A bright blue baby boy
Came out silent, so ****** quiet

He was still and tiny
It broke my heart in two
seein' his tiny blue hands

We buried him under the oak tree
In the back yard
right under the swing

I loved that swing

My husband loved his alcohol
and hated my incompetence
and liked to leave some marks on a woman

But I loved him
with all of my aching heart
even with all the bruises that shaded my skin

He was the best thing
that ever happened to me
I took all the beatings and the nasty words because of it

But when he brought home that woman
Well, you'd guess I was pretty upset
But I refused to go down without a fight

So that night I lit a few candles
Put on my best nightgown
Waited for him in the bedroom

Even managed to clean all the dirt
out from underneath my fingernails.
I was in the garden all day

After all it was hard work
digging myself up from under
the old oak tree

#abuse #dark #***** #miscarriage #abusiverelationship #oldoak

J Oct 2014

I Always Wonder

I always wonder
if you were lying to me
when you said that
your house burned down.

I always wonder
if you really meant it
when you said that
you loved me.

I always wonder
why I am still thinking
about you
because
you ruined my life.

I always wonder
if you knew that
you robbed me.

I always wonder
if you really understood
how ******* up
our relationship was.

I always wonder
if you knew
that your words
hurt me.

I always wonder
if you knew
how much pain you inflicted on me.

I always wonder
if you understood
that I couldn't leave you
alone.

I always wonder
if you realized
that you forced me
to stay.

I always wonder
if you ever really understood
you,
me,
us,
at all?

This is the first time I've ever publicly shared about how much I hate my ex and how badly I was treated.

#love #abuse #past #lover #abusiverelationship #pastlove

— The End —