I still think about you

stupid right
I know

but
you know what
for once

Its not about you


© Christopher F. Brown 2015

Look at these people
With their perfect bodies
their perfect families
their perfect houses and cars
and their other perfect things

If I say this directly to anyone
or even aloud
the knee **** conditioned response is to say
I
me
they
suffer from jealousy

Why do people wait four or five decades before they accept
life is not perfect
there is no perfect thing
no perfect someone
no perfect anything

you accept what you will
refuse what you wont
put purpose to plan
its all what you decide to make of it

They say that is settling
it could be
Id disagree with their understanding of the word

forcing something to be a certain way
a certain way that only existed in one’s uncertain mind
how is that anywhere near
perfect
how is that anything less than
delusional

I could force myself to be completely
other than I am

be what I believe I should be
have what I believe I should have
do what I believe I should do
but is any of that

perfect

is any of that

me

where is the reality in that

reality never had anything to do with the notion
the idea
the thing
called perfect

They said
weren’t you the one that said
pursue your passion

weren't you the one that said
the only difference between a dream and a goal
are the details that occupy the reality in between

Sometimes
I hate talking to me

© Christopher F. Brown 2015

You think because your skin is wrinkle and blemish free
you have achieved a great feat of life

being thirty
or forty
or fifty-three
looking 23 ***

The last book you read
was only done so that you can name
the last book you read

Your soul is as paper thin
as is your skin

hold on
yes
your shell, vehicle, vessel
and its drapings, anointings, adornings
are very beautiful

you do know that
none of that at all
is actually you

your body fat percentage and credit score
is as important to you
as the birth of your children
as the day of your first wedding
as the day of your second divorce

hold on
yes I'm calling you shallow

hold on
no I'm not saying that I'm better

I will say at least
what I do
I do because it has a purpose
I do because it has a meaning

I know that lives are more important than taxes and their brackets
I know that you do not stay
just because of what others might say if you go

What you do is because. . .
What you believe is because. . .
Right down to the very words you choose

why do you do anything that you do

that’s right
go ahead and say it

© Christopher F. Brown 2015

For Dana

Woman
Sister
Mother

No matter the title or label
None fully define that which is
You

That which is
Dana

Studying your hands I’ve learned
all things are possible
even though you make them seem effortless

Studying your soul I’ve learned
true strength is limitless and unmatched

Studying your arms I’ve learned
true love is unconditional

Thank you Dana
for being the first woman in my life

Thank you Bennie
for being the first sister in my life

Thank you Ma
for being my one and only
Mother

©Christopher F. Brown 2015