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  Apr 2016 SECERT ACCOUNT
Alana
it's 3 am and I'm screaming for help, can you hear me?
it's 4 am and blood is pouring out of my skin, where are you?
it's 5 am and I'm crying so **** hard, you left me.
it's 6 am and I'm staring blankly at the ceiling, I miss you.
it's 7 am and I put on my sweater and my fake smile, you won't even notice me.
it's 8 am and I'm staring at you walking with her, I need you.
it's 9 am and I go to the clinic and pretend to be sick, I can't handle this anymore.
it's 10 am and I was sent home, I just want to end everything.
it's 11 am and I'm hungry, but I can't eat because you'll think I'm fat.
it's 12 pm and I give up and eat, and also hate myself a little more.
it's 1 pm and I'm sitting on the bathroom floor, I just puked out my guts.
it's 2 pm and I think of you and me and how we used to be, I miss you so **** much.
it's 3 pm and I'm staring at myself in the mirror, I look awful.
it's 4 pm and I'm staring at my phone, I'm waiting for you to call me.
it's 5 pm and I'm exhausted, I cry myself to sleep.
it's 6 pm and I wake up because of the shouts of my family fighting, pls come back I need you.
it's 7 pm and they tell me to eat, I don't eat.
it's 8 pm and I stare at my phone again, I'm still waiting for you to call.
it's 9 pm and my heart hurts, please I need you.
it's 10 pm and I'm reading our old messages, you said you'd never leave me.
it's 11 pm and I'm still waiting for you, I really miss you.
it's 12 am and I start crying, I'm not good enough for you.
it's 1 am and I feel like ****, she's much better than me isn't she?
it's 2 am and I really miss you, can we at least be friends?
it's 3 am and once again I'm sitting here broken, and you shattered me to pieces.
  Apr 2016 SECERT ACCOUNT
Oh No One
You asked me when me heart went missing.
I told you when my mind did.
I like to think that I loved you.
I like to think that I still do.
I can't tell anymore though, if I'm in love with you, or the girl I once knew.
A lot can change in a year.
But not me.
I'm still that same old record, left on repeat.
I'm that same broken boy, with scratched hands, and purple eyes.
You change personalities like clothes, and I was the only one who didn't know.
In the end we can pretend like I didn't notice the way you brushed your hair off your shoulder, or the way you sighed and stared into space.
But I did.
I miss it.
But I know it's gone now.
I really do wonder if it's for the best.
You fixed this broken heart
only to have it shattered once again.
You made me believe in forever
but now it seems that i cant love another.
I knew the truth
I was afraid to admit it

But now I know
I was only an experiment.

I hope you are happy with the results.
If you wake up tomorrow
And I'm not there
Please know I loved you

If you wake up wanting me
Please know I could not stay

Falling in love with you was a blessing and curse
You are the sweetest thing I have ever known
And I am eternally thankful

But I could not stay
And face you
Knowing that you did not love me

If you wake up tomorrow
And I'm not there
Please know I miss you
And I hope you miss me

Please know
I loved you the moment we met.
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