her - Hello Poetry

her Nov 2015

Essence

I want you, but I'm okay with your essence
Basking in your scent long after your presence
The pursuit of my happiness
Seems to wrapped up in your arms
Yet I'm wrapped up
And you seem to be gone
Our fate is as good as whitewashed
Unwritten history in the making
Sanitized love
I give and you're taking
I should never be ok with half
When whole is available
I was ok with your essence
Until it became untraceable

#love #essence #almost

her Jul 2014

Blue

Blue is my favorite color
I seem to wear it best
When I'm missing you

#you #breakup #missing #lovelove #lostbluesmemories

her Jul 2014

Instruction Manual.

I wish you came with an instruction manual, because loving you makes no sense.

I take that back because even if you did it would probably be written in German.

I try to put together pieces and all I see is handle with care but when I reach out, your body language says "don't touch me there." Not physically, not emotionally, and when I try mentally you yell "get out of my brain." Even in the same atmosphere our breathing is not the same.

I cling to your exhale and forget that I need to inhale. I pray that you're alive not worried about my imminent death, because once again, loving you just doesn't make sense.

Maybe if you had come with subtitles, I could love you better. So that I could read what you say instead of hear it, since the two never seem to be the same.

You make me feel deaf. And that would be okay if only American Sign Language was enough to make you stay. Why can't you just say how you feel so I can feel what you say?

You drown me with complacency and get mad when I can't stay afloat. You're screaming you can't handle this yet ask me why I'm walking towards the door.

We were supposed to be two beats, and one heart. I was supposed to love you right, but I don't know how..

You came with no instruction manual.

Loving you just doesn't make sense.

#love #trust #heart #relationships #up #break #confusion #heartache #work

her Jul 2014

Light Switches

We are not light switches
Our relationship should not be off and on
If you want me
Let me know
If you do not want me
Let me know

And then..

And then he calls me baby,
As he places gently one hand along the right side of my waist
Pulling me into himself
Placing his forehead down upon mine so that he can look me directly into my eyes
Returning the stare with his big brown eyes
Letting me know that right now?
We're on.
Making me believe that this time, we might be on forever

And then..

And then he kisses me, and I’m sure
My body eases up from the tense stance I took in order to back up the seriousness in my voice, starting from my shoulders,
making it’s way down to my knees
I am weak
He knows what to do when we do what it do.

But in the morning...
He wakes up and he...
He doesn’t kiss me like he did the night before when he knew he was wrong, when he convinced me over and over that this time,
we were on

I roll over and let my feet dangle a few inches from the floor,
My body draped in the blanket that held last nights secrets and wasted tears...

  The sun shines through the window and onto my skin  .
There's a certain darkness in the light it provides...

I feel it.
We're off again.

We've all been a light switch...

#love #relationships #up #lost #nostalgia #breakup #make

her Jul 2014

Saudade

you ever have that feeling
where it’s almost like
you miss someone you’ve never met?
it comes in passionate waves
where the urge to hug them
or kiss them
is inexplicably real
sometimes I daydream a little bit deeper than that
I imagine meeting them
and fulfilling all of my fantasies
until they become deja vu

her Jun 2014

Honesty.

You don’t need to be deep to write. I found you can swim for hours through the depths of the most shallow person, so long as they’re honest.

There’s a simplicity in honesty, that’s what captures people. Not navigating through mazes of big words and made up metaphors that don’t make sense.

When you write, write lightly. Let your honesty leave the impact.

her Jun 2014

I Want...

I want a record player.
And an intimately lit living room.
And after we put the kids to sleep, I want you to pull me away from washing the dishes.
And I want to dance with you to our song playing faintly on the record from the living room.
My face buried in your neck as you whisper to me that I'm beautiful.
I want to look up at the stairway to find that the kids snuck out and are watching us.
I want them to see our love for each other daily.
And when you pull me into a kiss, I want to hear them say "ewww" and run back to bed.
I want to laugh passionately with our lips still in an embrace.
And when our song is over, I want to lay down on the couch with my head in your lap.
I want to hear about your day as we watch the candle flicker on the coffee table.
I want you to rub my shoulders until we both fall asleep.
I want to wake up suddenly at 2:37 in the morning and kiss you softly, motioning for your hand, whispering to you "let's go to bed".
I want to hear your footsteps behind me walking up the stairs.
Before we go to our room, I want to check on the kids and marvel at our blessings.
Then I want to change into my nightgown and slide under the cool covers until I feel your warm body.
I want you to kiss the back of my neck and drape your arm around me and tell me you love me.
I want I love you too, to be the last thing I say to you, every night.
Because I do.
I don't know who you are yet, but I do...
Love you too.

#love #marriage