i had the universe in my hands
but i dropped it because you are my universe

do you understand?


e.knocks

Yes, I often sit and think about all the times
I was wrong.
And I wonder if you think about them as often
As I do.

It seems that I make mountains
Out of molehills.
All my lovers have told me
Silently.

I fear that I feel everything
So deeply
That I can hardly make the distinction
Between them.

If sanity is normal,
Then I want to be insane.
Because normal is ******* boring,
And boredom induces mind numbing pain.

I want to write backwards,
With my non-writing hand,
And I want to travel though Nations,
With only a map to see where I stand.

I want to meet strangers on buses,
Telling them about my day.
Smiling hopefully at her faces,
In that extroverted kind of way.

Then I want to go home,
Making a cup of tea.
Drinking the comfort knowing,
I'm part of a minority.

how foolish was I
to make myself think
you had any claim on my body?

my hands will spin gold thread
regardless of whether you are there
to cultivate it for comfortable clothing

my eyes will gleam
the stars of a night sky
bright enough to guide myself home
time and time again

my skin will soften
for the right touch
whether it is that of another
or my own fingers pulling for answers

my hair will be the ribbon
that ties me together
and keeps my pieces as one as the world tries to dismantle me

for I was allowing you into the sanctuary of my body
but it was never yours
never has been
and never will be

and I promise myself
that I will always stand
at the gate of my own garden.

I asked you as a child

a very long time ago

If I left without a goodbye,

Would you let tears flow?

You held me tightly to your chest

Rocked me slowly back and forth

You promised me you'd never leave

I believed you, for all thats it's worth