Lots of thoughts
And even more shots
Just to drown the pain
Or just to sustain

A calm face
In a public place
Where I got some space
At my own pace

I may recover
From this but I
May not have a lover
The trust wasn’t applied

i wonder
what it feels like
right before
you take the step
into peace
and your body
hits the water

s.s

There are days when this depression is a
Whisper
A ghost hiding in the corner
That feeling that you just can’t shake but never
See
That buzz in the back of your
Skull a bee’s nest
There are days when I say I’m okay and I
Mean it
And there are days the covers are lined with lead
I’ve never been a weightlifter but I know the
Feeling of crushed lungs
This bed is an ocean and I am out to sea
With no anchor
Rough water
Tossed overboard
There are days when this depression is standing
On the shore, yelling
“You should have learned to swim”

But thank the
Universe
For handing you a life jacket and a map to me.

-Alyssa Faye Heckart