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Noah Sholler Sep 13
I can't think of a reason
That I'm still here
Maybe waiting for the season
Or maybe there's too much fear

Lets just sit here while
The world passes us by
Not usually my style
But better this than to die

I just feel empty
Inside and out
Just some can't see
Guess I'll just wander about

Just drifting off into a void
Looking for a way
Just a way to avoid
Every ******* body

Lets just sit here while
The world passes us by
Not usually my style
But better this than to die

Can't anyone see that I am dying
What more does it take?
It's not like I'm lying
But what are the stakes

Pour another and another
Until I can't remember
Why most don't bother
Probably should have had a mentor

Lets just sit here while
The world passes us by
Not usually my style
But better this than to die
Noah Sholler Nov 2018
The smoke has cleared
It’s worse than I feared
I don’t like what I see
If not smoke then line the drinks

Couldn’t tell you the last time
I remember everything clearly
Just being stuck in this downward line
The thought of sobriety scares me

I don’t like what I see
In sobriety I see me
I don’t like the world
Might as well call us the psych ward
Noah Sholler Nov 2018
I am a moving shell
That is just going
To burn in hell
That expression is showing

I deserve to be pleasant
Because I wasn’t with you
It was like I was on a depressant
So in the end I got *******

You must be happy to not have me
In your life anymore
I was one you would never see
Which made me completely sore

I am a moving shell
That is just going
To burn in hell
That expression is showing

What truly hurt me
Was that you never cared
Which I didn’t see
And info you never shared

But you just answered
Only when it was convenient
Your actions were just like cancer
“Facing my demons”

I am a moving shell
That is just going
To burn in hell
That expression is showing
Noah Sholler Nov 2018
Hello death, I know
It’s been a while
Since I’ve been this low
I was just a mere child

Now having aged
Life has only gotten worse
Trying to keep me caged
I only assume I am cursed

Where has the light gone
Where did the love go
This life I am not fond
20 years later and I have nothing to show

All I wanted was to have some to care
But only very few were there
Others would just stare
Sorry but that is all I can share
Noah Sholler Jun 2018
I want to be normal
Like I used to be
I no longer feel formal
Which most can see

I can’t stand these
Memories that are tainted
Those feelings ceased
And I might just faint

Someday. Someday.
I’m going to be over you
Someday. Someday.
I’ll be with someone new

I think I may just end it
Because life is ****
Nothing is ever good
Everything is never understood

I could stay
But who’s waiting
For me to say
Something, that’s just irritating

Someday. Someday.
I’m going to be over you
Someday. Someday.
I’ll be with someone new
Noah Sholler Jun 2018
I am numb
From all of the drugs
I had to give myself
Something you couldn’t do yourself

This sense is new
Felt by very few
I feel my body becoming numb
I must have been drugged

Maybe the alcohol contributes
Or maybe the pills
Yet the pain continues
Emptiness is what I try to fill

I am numb
From all of the drugs
I had to give myself
Something you couldn’t do yourself

I want to be sober
Which will happen
When you’re the one I get over
To get away from your traps
Noah Sholler Jun 2018
Why am I so helpless
Like why am I like this
My life is just a ******* mess
And I’m not sure if it’s one I can fix

The thoughts have been more often
Thoughts of it all just ending
But writing is here to soften
Me and that hand I told to be lending

How can these days be so hard
I do not understand
In life I guess I didn’t play the right card
Or maybe I was just dealt a terrible hand

I have never been more depressed
Than I am now at this moment
I tried to keep it suppressed
But I have decided to own up to it

I just was wanting to open up
To those who might care
Or those who might have has enough
And maybe all they to do is share
Awareness to where I am mentally but I should let everyone know I am doing well now, these were thoughts I had bottled up for about a year and I just didn’t know what to do however in the end I am alright don’t worry
Much love
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