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Why?
How can I feel this way?
I feel myself
Losing you
Pushing you away
Purposely
Like, just talking to you
Is torturing me
Yet, I need you
WHAT THE **** DO I DO?
I don't wanna hurt anymore
I want the pain to go away
I don't know what I'm living for
I don't know how I got this way
How do I say
THIS IS TOO MUCH TO TAKE
To handle
To deal with
Torn, ripped in directions
I never thought existed
Expectations
Non granted wishes
ALL FOR NOTHING
Cause I'm still broken
Not even worth fixing

But you
You're worth so much more
None of the guilt
None of the shame
Is worth anything
**** IT ALL
Just forget my name
and yet....
    everyday
I   F
       A
           L
         L

    deeper
Into Your Eyes
      Into Your Words
             Into Your Voice
    The feelings my heart.
            and mind
      have created
Leave me very little choice
          I cannot control
   the musings in my soul
        the desperation in my heart
     or the erratic thoughts in my mind
           That keep tearing at my insides
      Making me want to fall apart
                perfection
                         =
                      you
      Especially, in regards to me
I just wish you could see
          I know I sound crazy
     But, sometimes we just can't help
            how we feel
       It's too much to ask of you
   But I'm a fan of the truth
          and I know these emotions
      that I'm trying to conceal
          desire
               chemistry
                      love
        they're all real
  I tried and tried and tried
         but I just can't control
            what's deep in my soul
     and how my heart feels...


Just thought you should know...
Dear Future Daughter
Don’t worry about making right choices
After you born on this planet
Because choices are what you are gifted

Do remember courtesy of love
And give it to your Mom
Who open your eyes
After she kept in you in her warm womb
For
Nine months and Nineteen days

Dear Future Daughter
I don’t want your favorite colorist must be pink
Like any other ordinary girl
It could be anything
Which symbolize you a real astonish bold amazing girl

I don’t want you to be normal girl
Who live under someone else life
And trapped by dogma
Live for you
Live for your happiness

Dear Future Daughter
I won’t worry about what your hairstyle is
I won’t care what your fashion is all about it
I won’t stubbed you
Because you are the outcome
Of my amaze marvelous *****

No matter what life is up to you
No matter how many boys fallen in love with you
Not a big deal how many Purpose you would be going to rejecting it.

Dear Future Daughter
I promise I will love you with all of my heart
No matter what and your smile will be the upside of my day
I don't need you to be perfect, although you will be perfect in my eyes.

©Saujan Gyawali
15 December 2014
i don't need food, letters or gifts
i want to feel special with no boundaries
things are not important to me
but to feel loved and protected is
:) thanks to my secret angel earlier. sorry for being such a ****.
 Nov 2014 Frustrated Poet
Erenn
He was running on air
Jumping on constellations
He's like Peter Pan
Only this Peter is tall and growing
He reached out his hand 
And asked her to dance
She wondered why she didn't decline
Strangers that could fly caught her eye

She felt his warm fingers 
Their fingers clenched 
As he held her hand tightly
They flew above the skies
She felt so alive 
Her agonies that she suffered
Gone like it was never there

He suddenly grabbed something
She wondered what it could be
He opened his gentle hands
And the brightest little star glows
Like the northern lights in the vast skies
Like fireworks exploding in a snowglobe

She touched it & she fell
Awoke and disappointed
Her dream didn't last till the end
The boy whose name was not Peter
Might be back in neverland
And the Little Star now vanished
**Only fragments of dreams
That will never cease to exist
I freaking love Peter Pan ever since I was young. I'd always wanted to be like him. I cried when I didn't get the part as Peter in a musical.hha I really wanted to be like him. Not a heartbreaker like him, but to never ever grow up and live in adrventures! So this is my interpretation of him I wrote in a poem:)
Got inspired by one of my friends here.
Orked Saerah. Gave me an idea and inspiration to write this piece.
Not my best work. But I love this one.
 Nov 2014 Frustrated Poet
rufus
before the bad,
this i'll say:
if i tell you to leave
don't ever listen.
the worst will come,
darkness will eat us both.
our bliss
will be buried
in the sands
of our forgotten memories,
beneath the sad thoughts
beneath all our nightmares -
our happiness will lie.
alone and desolated -
she will sleep there hopelessly.
we cannot rescue her
it will be too late,
i know it because
it has happened before,
but until then
let's shelter ourselves
with loving hands,
silent daydreams
and genuine caresses
let's claim our everyday,
enjoy our now,
and live today



before our bad days, my love,
i'll let you know:
don't let me go,
for i know i'll tell you to.
you can't stop me,
nor i, you.
but know this, darling,
that what lies inside
this wretched mind,
though i might not say,

*i am begging for you to stay.
 Nov 2014 Frustrated Poet
rufus
One frightened part of me says
calm down, all will be well
you'll get out of this tremendous mess
everything is okay in God's will
I promise you won't even feel
your skin that once did swell.

Like stargazers on a lucid night
Like the ever-patient stars so bright
I want all my days to be quiet
All my nights to be perfect

And then another thought comes
I want to ride the tides
Embrace it with all my might
Travel the world with reckless ones
Smoke out the heavy problems
Drink not moderately, but constantly
Love unattached and infinitely.

Like storm chasers so brave
Like I don't need to be saved
I want all my days to be strong
All my nights to be long.
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