Death, it has no hold on me
The Lord is slowly changing me
Into the person I should be
Oh, praise His holy name
He holds me and tells me, "Be still."
I know my God abideth still
I wish only to do His will
Hosanna, all the glory
He leads me beside quiet streams
He says He's never leaving me
My God will always reign Supreme
To Jesus, exultation
My Father, He is great and strong
I know my soul to Him belongs
I need not fear the devil's throngs
My life is thine, oh Father
Whom else have I in heav'n but thee
You weaveth my life steadily
My shelter in the stormy sea
Oh, praise the Lamb of God
I hang my head in shame and doubt
You tell me I am clean, without
My sin and I can't help but shout,
"Emmanuel-God with us!"
And when I reach the golden shore,
I will live in sin no more
For Jesus, my transgressions bore
Jehovah, I adore thee.
I've been struggling with my faith for what seems like years. I'm not sure how long it has been in actuality, but my greatest fear is that when I die, I won't go to heaven. I am a very bad Christian, I know that. But for some reason, faith that I am truly an heir to the promise escapes me. It comes and goes in waves. Some days, only praise is on my lips, and I can feel Christ surrounding me with love. Other days I feel like Hagar in the desert, hungry and thirsty for belief, but waiting to die. I feel like I'm going insane. Oh God, please stop this, I cannot weather this trial.