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Death, it has no hold on me
The Lord is slowly changing me
Into the person I should be
Oh, praise His holy name

He holds me and tells me, "Be still."
I know my God abideth still
I wish only to do His will
Hosanna, all the glory

He leads me beside quiet streams
He says He's never leaving me
My God will always reign Supreme
To Jesus, exultation

My Father, He is great and strong
I know my soul to Him belongs
I need not fear the devil's throngs
My life is thine, oh Father

Whom else have I in heav'n but thee
You weaveth my life steadily
My shelter in the stormy sea
Oh, praise the Lamb of God

I hang my head in shame and doubt
You tell me I am clean, without
My sin and I can't help but shout,
"Emmanuel-God with us!"

And when I reach the golden shore,
I will live in sin no more
For Jesus, my transgressions bore
Jehovah, I adore thee.
I've been struggling with my faith for what seems like years. I'm not sure how long it has been in actuality, but my greatest fear is that when I die, I won't go to heaven. I am a very bad Christian, I know that. But for some reason, faith that I am truly an heir to the promise escapes me. It comes and goes in waves. Some days, only praise is on my lips, and I can feel Christ surrounding me with love. Other days I feel like Hagar in the desert, hungry and thirsty for belief, but waiting to die. I feel like I'm going insane. Oh God, please stop this, I cannot weather this trial.
I am
so unbelievably
in love
with someone who actually deserves it
Met with a wink
And a sly smile
Her sharp eyes
Hide awhile

In the shrub
She crawls and bounds
Her paws rub
As she glides the grounds

Her red mane
Of hair and dirt
She won’t train
She won’t hurt

She bounds about
In joyous leaps
She leaves about
Every few weeks

Return she may
Or leave and go
It’s every day
I still won’t know

Yet each time
I lose my heart
She comes around
And heals it smart

She’s always there
In dusk or dawn.
She lives in trees
And all beyond

Forever may
She sail the clouds
Yet all the way
She loves me now

She tells me so
And I hear it
I love her so
I won’t forget

That she lives on
Each day and night
Beyond the stars
Within the light

Her spirit is
A strong fox jumping
And when I see her
I run, coming
"I want it because..."
"But I'm already broken..."
"I can't change..."
"You don't care..."
"I can do whatever I want..."
STOP.
LIES.
I...

But...

But I want...

STOP

breath

I am nothing

STOP!
YOU ARE WORTH IT
NO MORE COMPLAINING
THINKING YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE HURTING
STOP
STOP
STOP


Stop fighting yourself *

Look up

looks down*
STOP

FACE IT

but...
STOP.

Think

open your eyes

get up

hold your head high

But I can't...

YES YOU CAN.

DO IT.

if only you understood you can't fully control every day
come on child
listen to my words
stop feeling bad about yourself
STOP
because you are missing the wonderful, mystical moments with your head down
There is a war in my head, one that is hard to win. I want to sit and fall yet there is something....someone pushing me to STOP crying and to stand up.

— The End —