Crying from loss, pain, sorrow and even joy. But finding yourself crying from seeing someone smile? Someone is out there who hasn't smiled in a while and when you finally see them smile you let out tears because that's what you've been fighting for, for them to be happy.
To see their cheeks wrinkle, their eyes to light up and their smile sneak onto their lips. To see genuine happiness in someone who you know deserves it. When you know that's how their supposed to be.

i.  
you see her for the first time & she will walk past you as if you are a crack in the wall & she is a skyscraper with her head so high in the air, & when you can't sleep you'll think about the way her eyes strayed into yours for a moment too long before breaking away & disappearing into the crowd of people.

ii.
she'll look both ways before telling you she loves you under her breath & when she hugs you, her eyes scan the empty room as if the walls had eyes & ears & a mouth that could give you away.

iii.
when she's curled up in your lap shaking with a mismatched heartbeat you'll wonder how someone who looked like she carried mountains on her shoulders could crumble so easily in your arms, like the tornado in her mind finally hit her & knocked her off her feet.

iv.
in half-light she'll run her fingers over your arms like she's reading words carved into your skin, binding them together into a perfect metaphor, & you'll hear them playback in your mind at 4am when your head runs wild with thoughts of her.


v.
you'll find a safe haven in rooftops & abandoned rooms where she'll set fire to your insides with hushed breathing between kisses planted perfectly on your lips & she'll make you wonder how dangerous it is to play with wild flames while your body is made of paper.

vi.
you'll stare her right in the eye & tell her that if loving her was a sin then you want no place in heaven because the way her lips fit perfectly on your neck is a paradise you'll never forget.

// the six stages of falling in love with her.

I was trying to describe you &
I could not escape the cliches
of doing you an injustice.
     to me you felt like light eyes
contrasting gray days
     to others you walked like a
dancing young child with years
untamed and wild
     to me you drifted, you were a
description - clear as the light that
contours your face & quickly I
was deceived by the obscurities
of your tenderness.
     I was trying to describe you,
but all I could feel was the
the colors you emitted and the tone that
played in your feet as you
danced across a campus made from
years of failures and successes.
     All I could taste was the
serenity of your voice and the tenderness
of your poise.
     I felt the colors you emitted
as I described you I told them

your laugh was simply *blue.

Each time
he opened up
she took a part of him
and kept it for a bullet

each time
he opened up
he waited ...
...expectantly

and was disappointed

but in the end
because it was the end
she opened up too

with every bullet
she'd saved

until his screams
burned remorse
in to her eyes..