You asked
What is the scariest part?

I answer
The scariest part
is not the feeling of loneliness
or the darkness that fills you
despite the looming pain
of emptiness

The scariest part
is the realization  
that you have lost yourself
completely
sinking in as you lay awake
at 2 AM
because you lost the ability to sleep
and you can't even cry
because you don't even care

Ignore the signs of mental state decline
I’m fine is the typical reply

Depression is used so often that the word
Loses meaning as quickly as the life its leaning.

And isn't that exactly right?
You get one word to describe your problem
Your feeling overlooked, alien, lonely, and sad.
And society makes that word as useless
As all the others you scream at no one.

Makes me want to burn the world down.

I like the dark
And its ness
There's a primal desire
Inside my heart-mind mire
For pale skin and black hair
Piercing decorations
Evil.

Because good pretends it isn't self-interested.
Because light is harsh.
Because at least the women in white faced makeup with
dark eye liner
and dyed black hair
wear their masks openly.

It's hard existing in a world designed to extinguish flame throwing souls like mine. And yet here I am.
An unforgiving, reckless wildfire.

Anxiety wraps
itself around me,

like a coat that
doesn’t fit me

like a lover that
doesn’t love me

like a fire that
doesn’t warm me

quiet down
hideaway
no one likes to talk about death

I feel like i have ran out of control.
I feel like i'm in the backseat of a car
that's dragging me to hell.

I  am blindfolded while feeling the warmth
of hell fire.
I am blinded from the true form of evil.
Blinded from the actual concept of hell.
I've lost all self control.
But found a home in the process.