Some answers are locked...
...so that there may be room for faith.

This I believe.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

Shaken at the core of my being.
I feel I'm losing touch.
From all the things that I adore.
And love so much.
Giving in to this filthy world.
Holding on by the spool.
Will I overcome this hell in me.
Or drown as a fool.

Buried deep in this hole.
I feel like letting go.

Faith is deteriorating.
Morals slowly decaying.
What have I become?
Take me back to the days.
Where I felt that I was one.
With the ones I hold dear.

Please don't let me fall away!
I'm holding on barely and praying!
Begging you to save me!
Wearily but strongly I'm holding on!
(By an inch of faith of my own thread!)
To see the light of day!

Lord I know that I'm a sinner.
And I try my hardest to break away.
But each day it gets harder and harder.
When my flaws are thrown back at me.
Hanging my head in shame.
As I look in the mirror
Knowing I could make a change.
If only I'd see clearer.

Grant me the peace I need.
To make it through the day.
Renew my heart of guilt and sorrow.
So I can find my way.
I know you are there there through the darkest of greys.
So give me all I need
To see when you reach for me
I will grab your hand!!!

If only my main Heart desires, became reality.
If  only Christ would use me to save lives too.
If only I was an NCIS agent being use to help others.
This is my heart desire, to be use to help save lives.
For people lives are far more important then things.
For people do matter to God and to me as well.
For what good is life, unless it is a doorway leading others to Christ.
For only he can give to us true life in him alone.

Did you burn everything he touched?
Even yourself?
Did you destroy everything he used?
Even yourself?
Do you hate everything he once loved?
Even yourself?
Did you break everything that reminds you of him?
Even yourself?
Did you forget it, all of it?
Even yourself?
Was he there for you more than anyone else?
Even yourself?
Does he hate you more than anyone else?
Even yourself?
Do you lie to everyone saying you're okay?
Even yourself?
Can anyone help you?
Even yourself?