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451 · Mar 2015
Happens.
Renee Mar 2015
Happens.
Scrolling absentmindedly
Eyes unfocused
mind not on what I'm seeing on the screen
pain in my chest,
a burning like hell in my throat
regret slowly slicing my soul
So much to say
not even worth it to say,
nothing even matters anymore,
what's the point?
I wish everyone would forget me
that I exist
Anything I've ever said,
done,
thought.
Because it's all ****** up.
It shouldn't have happened
I shouldn't have happened
Continue reading...
442 · Jan 2015
Words
Renee Jan 2015
Words
The words don't come out correctly,
forever lodged in my throat,
in my mind,
never to leave,
stuck inside.
There's so many things I'd love to say,
but I'm too scared to force them out.
Only on a site full of strangers,
will my words come out,
incorrectly,
not the message I want to send,
not the way I want to say things,
but still, they come out to mingle
and meet new friends.
I'm too shy,
too scared of being noticed,
hide in the back of the room,
wrapped in a black jacket
and face hid,
words forming in your windpipe
sitting there,
choking you,
but you just can't get them out.
#words #speak #shy
Continue reading...
442 · Dec 2014
Not A Poem.
Renee Dec 2014
Not A Poem.
Am I fat? No, not really. Am I unhappy with my body? Yes. Am I ugly? I think so, but beauty is differentiated in everyone. Am I a good friend? I'd like to say so. Am I smart? I'd like to think so, but no. Am I talented? Hell no. Am I shy? Overbearingly. Am I annoying? Yeah, probably. Am I happy with myself and my personality? No. Should I be? Everyone should.
Continue reading...
435 · Feb 2015
I'm Sorry
Renee Feb 2015
I'm Sorry
I'm sorry I did it again
I'm sorry I feel the way I do
I'm sorry I'm hurting you
I'm sorry I'm hurting me
I'm sorry I can't do anything right,
that's probably the most accurate thing I've said
I'm just an idiot with pointless problems
oh wait, I am a pointless problem
I'm sorry that you met me,
I'm sorry we ever talked
I'm sorry I put you through all of this ****
I'm sorry that you deserve more than me and you can't see that
I'm sorry that you disagree with me
I'm sorry I'm stubborn
and I'm sorry I'm sorry.
I know none of this means **** to you,
my sorry's really shouldn't,
not as many as I've had to say.
Not as much I have to apologize for.
In other words, I just need to shove them up my ***,
but it has to be known
There's alot of things I do to be sorry for
and I'm sorry for every single one of them
Continue reading...
432 · Mar 2015
Failure By Design
Renee Mar 2015
Failure By Design
Forever just a failure
with dark circles
and tired eyes
small shaky hands
messed up face
just as messy hair
music too loud
maybe ****** in the head
anxious thoughts
intense fear in crowds
only feel at home in between music notes
indecisive
never know what's wanted
needed
deserved
not what's desired
hates going places
deserves all the hate
never eats what's on the plate
can't keep a friendship
forever unhealthy looking
either too big or too small
the quiet thing that no one notices
always tired, always sleeping
just a failure by design
not a **** thing is right
#hate
Continue reading...
426 · Mar 2015
You Are
Renee Mar 2015
You Are
You are the sun
and she is the moon
two opposites
and never meant to be

I am the tides
and you are the waves
together we are one,
and forever will we stay

you are the grass on a summer night,
I am the fireflies lighting the sky
glistening off you is dew
tears of a night that's too long for I

you are the heart
and I am the blood
you are the purpose of me
#love
Continue reading...
426 · May 2015
We
Renee May 2015
We
We are held down
by chains of fear
we seem to think we should be picture perfect
but perfection is just an idea
it isn't real
we don't realize we are our own saviours
we could have the world in our hands
and we do
we have our own world
it is ours,
we are people
we are the only determining point of our lives
we control us
we're not all the same
but sometimes?
You have to break chains
punch your fear in the gut
walk on
whether you're alone or not
Continue reading...
424 · Sep 2015
One
Renee Sep 2015
One
intertwined souls
hands clasped tight
caring eyes
and a night less bright
arms around my waist
my head in your chest
one heart less broken
one heart more healed
one smile much brighter
two people in love,
Cupid's sweet meal
Continue reading...
423 · Mar 2015
Here We Are
Renee Mar 2015
Here We Are
Here we are
I knew it would end up like this
Feel like I'm drowning
yet again
always saved the moment before I do
it's always my fault
I hold my head under,
not wanting to come up
there's not an effort to be made
because there's no point to me,
everyone leaves anyway
I'm too much to handle,
not good enough
just a mess too big to clean up
don't know why you still try,
I would have given a long time ago
I **** you off,
make you mad,
upset you,
and I hate it
but it's not going to change
Continue reading...
418 · Jun 2015
Find Your Sunshine
Renee Jun 2015
Find Your Sunshine
Sometimes you have to be lost
in order to find the answer
Sometimes, you have to be wrong
in order to know what's right
You're going to follow bad advice
You're going to make mistakes
You're going to deal with pain
and one day, you'll find that rain
can make rainbows
You just have to find your sunshine
Continue reading...
415 · Feb 2016
Hearing and Sight
Renee Feb 2016
Hearing and Sight
I would hate to lose my vision
because the world is so beautiful
still, serene, peaceful water,
bright blue skies filled with gray stratus clouds,
dew drops on freshly grown green grass
muddy brown creeks,
with small skipping rocks bouncing,
splashing,
a little kitten, barely old enough
to open sweet little eyes
Tall trees covered in powdery snow,
small puppy prints in the blanket of crisp white velvet

I would hate to lose my sense of hearing
because there's an abundance of sweet sounds.
Kittens purring,
wind blowing,
pitter-pattering rain on an old tin roof,
soft snoring of your lover beside you
people's chatter in the street
laughing ringing out clearly
Continue reading...
410 · Jan 2015
Breaking, Not Broken
Renee Jan 2015
Breaking, Not Broken
"It's okay baby, it's going to be okay." His tall frame held my fragile, petite one.

"No, it's not. You're going to leave too." Little did I know in that moment... he really would.

"I love you." In that moment, I froze.

"I hate you." In that moment, I shattered.

"You lied to me." I didn't lie.

"You never meant anything to me." In that moment, I was gone beyond repair.

"I care." In that moment, I was doubtful.

"I'm sorry." In this moment, I was truthful.

"Please don't take those pills again." In this moment, I wasn't worried.

"Are you okay?" An question that the answer will never grace my lips.

I'm breaking, but I'm not broken. Not yet.
Originally a short story idea
Continue reading...
408 · Apr 2015
Eyes
Renee Apr 2015
Eyes
What if I told you
your eyes are the prettiest colour?
I could get lost in them
like a fox in a forest
Continue reading...
408 · Dec 2014
12:25 A.M
Renee Dec 2014
12:25 A.M
Why the hell am I crying now,
everything is going so well.
So why do I have tears streaming down my face,
when I know I shouldn't?
Why do random bouts of self hate hit me,
at 12:25 am
when I should be asleep,
In bed?
After a full day of it pounding down
it decides to visit some more,
at the worst times
as I thought I was getting better,
at 12:25 am
hours before I should be awakened.
Continue reading...
405 · Oct 2016
Untitled
Renee Oct 2016
Untitled
You lie to me
but call me a friend
You lie to her
and call her a friend
Friends don't lie,
pal.
Something trivial
Something dumb
Another lie
slips your tongue
Why do you fib?
Why do you pretend?
What is the truth
Do you even trust us?
I've known you for years
but yet
I'm
not good enough
for you
to tell the truth to
Ahhh, friends lying. Nice.
#friends #best
Continue reading...
404 · Feb 2015
Nice
Renee Feb 2015
Nice
I like to think I'm nice
but I don't think other people think so
I really do try... sometimes...
but I always manage to not be
Laugh it off,
pretend it's not a big deal,
pretend it doesn't hurt,
pretend you don't feel.
It's a shadow in your mind,
whispering in your ear,
that you'll never be nice enough
good enough
that everyone hates you
when they really don't

I've always told myself that noone cares
just leave myself alone in the corner
and they'll leave you alone
but apparently, that makes you stuck up
conceited
you think you're better than everyone else.
but honestly?
it's the opposite.
You just don't want to talk.
perhaps you're too scared or shy
socially awkward
maybe have social anxiety
maybe you just simply like being alone,
no one will ever know,
and it shouldn't matter
it shouldn't be made fun of
Continue reading...
401 · May 2015
-To You.
Renee May 2015
-To You.
I know you don't want to hear this right now
or ever, for a matter of fact,
at least maybe not from me
but I want to tell you, and maybe you'll eventually see this
I love you
and I'm so proud of you
I miss you a lot
God if I could go back to March
and fix everything,
make it right, treat you the way you deserve
I would
but I can't
and I know you don't believe me and I wouldn't either
I don't know why I'm still so stuck on you

If I could go back to August
and if it made you better
to never meet me,
I'd make it that way
I'd never answer your messages,
Third period would be a nonexistent memory

If I could go back to every time I've hurt you
If I could punch myself in the ******* face
If I could change a lot of things
the main one being me
I'd fix it all
I want to ******* change
but even then
this is never going to be okay again will it?
or is that just me?
I ******* love you. I wouldn't believe me, either, I know. I don't expect you to.
Continue reading...
390 · Mar 2015
How Does It End Up
Renee Mar 2015
How Does It End Up
How does it end up
in sadness
bruises
****-ups,
and tears,
and hatred from so many different ways?

How does it end up
the same endings
the same songs
the same numbness
the same sleepless nights
the same regrets

How does it end up
with two hearts torn
and one hated
and one with intense regrets
and no way to fix it
it shouldn't have happened at all
Continue reading...
388 · Dec 2014
A Home For Me
Renee Dec 2014
A Home For Me
Music.
One little thing
keeps a while society going.
Little people trying to find a home,
finding solace in the notes
that dance through their ears.
Lose yourself slowly;
find yourself faster.
Music is a home.
A home for the broken,
A home for the happy.
A home for the scared,
A home for the fearless.
A home for I,
a place I'll never leave.
Music,
What awaits me in my heaven;
and keeps me going through my hell.
#hell #music #heaven #help #bandom
Continue reading...
388 · Mar 2015
Do You Ever
Renee Mar 2015
Do You Ever
Ever reread messages
and they break you the same way
over, and over again?
Just to hurt yourself?
Just so you know that you were never the only one?
That you were never good enough?
Do you just need reminders
though it eats you every day
Bites at your chest
Leaves a hole

Do you cry everyday,
for no reason at all
but your thoughts
and they way they break you down
Do you ever just leave yourself shattered
because you just don't feel good enough

Do you ever take offensive jokes seriously
because you've always heard them and be meant true
Continue reading...
387 · Apr 2017
The Death of a Cynic
Renee Apr 2017
The Death of a Cynic
Hello,
you don't know me yet.
I'll bet you wish you wouldn't.
My name is Irrational,
and my hobbies include worrying about the world,
myself,
and everyone else.
My talents include cynicism and anxiety
and lacking variety
living in a not-so-high society.
Living with welts
on my heart
from being alone
for so long
begging for attention,
living with condescension.
Wondering what'll be on my gravestone.
"Loving mother, daughter, sister, wife,"
in the death of a cynic
another critic
comes another poem
about just some boring life.
Continue reading...
387 · Jun 2015
Name
Renee Jun 2015
Name
Some people might say I write too much about you
but you're my world and I tell you that a lot
I'm sorry I ask you if you love me,
I know you do
With that smile of yours that lights up everything
your eyes that smile even when you're not
you're sleeping right now but you're obviously in my thoughts
You're not just another person with another name
Not someone without their claim to fame
You have a laugh that's contagious
and a love that's unreal
Continue reading...
386 · Apr 2015
Lost
Renee Apr 2015
Lost
We live in a big world
and maybe we're all lost
Maybe just in the mind,
maybe we're not where we want to be
and maybe we never will
Always wondering
"What do I do,
What do I say?"
Seeking acceptance
when we don't need it from anyone
but inside us,
is one heart.
One heart that beats
to keeps us alive.
We're not here to please anyone.
We all make mistakes
lost in a mind that doesn't know
We're all lost in a big world
Someone, just someone,
I'm wishing you'd get lost with me
Hearts wander
mine's somewhere that isn't here,
and maybe,
if someone asked if I could go somewhere or to someone...
Maybe the only place you'd want to be
is with someone.
Maybe you're just lost,
alone,
in the world we don't know
Braving it with just your own two feet
Continue reading...
385 · Jan 2015
Bomb
Renee Jan 2015
Bomb
I'm like a bomb
a countdown
three, two, one
Now I'm exploded,
gone,
made into another one
Anger larger than my four foot nine frame
greener than my eyes with envy,
stuck in an never ending hole of self hate
please don't get near me,
I'm just ticking
I don't want to hurt you,
with the words I say
because I don't think.
I don't want you to hate me,
but if you talk to me,
that's what will happen
I'll just blow up your world...
I don't know where this came from I was just brainstorming and this is what came out of it, I don't really like it
Continue reading...
383 · Aug 2016
Untitled
Renee Aug 2016
Untitled
Let's start this off by saying I'm a size 6
And I'm told I'm on the weighter side.
When did that become true,
And why should I care about you?
Average American size is 14,
I don't know why you're so mean.
Let's pay more attention
To how much is our tuition
and our poverty rates
all the crimes of hate
Let's forget the size of our jeans
Pay less attention to the movie scenes
Idk what this is
Continue reading...
379 · Apr 2015
Art(s)
Renee Apr 2015
Art(s)
Staring at my bedroom walls
plain white
I paint pictures
inside my mind
what could be,
what is,
what was,
what will never be

Words pour out of my ears,
as I turn another page
of a book I recently started reading

Mind is wandering,
here, there, everywhere
Places unknown

Ink smudges
as I run my hand over the words
of my soul
poured out onto a page
for none to see
but all to know
Continue reading...
378 · Apr 2015
Inspire
Renee Apr 2015
Inspire
We all want to be an inspiration for something
Mine's just to live.
I want to be able to say,
that I helped someone stay alive
instead of saying that I made them want to die...
When they fell,
gave up time and time again,
and didn't want to continue.
I want to be able to say I helped someone,
just one
People have made me want to save myself
I want to return the favor.
I've not written lately and I'm trying to start again but my mind's just kinda everywhere right now.
Continue reading...
375 · Feb 2015
Rain
Renee Feb 2015
Rain
I really like the rain,
classical music too
It's storming tonight,
and it's 12:36 a.m
I have school tomorrow,
but I don't really care.
Maybe won't go,
maybe will hold my own hand
Who knows?
I really like the rain,
it's a sense of peace.
Running down pale, sullen faces,
that never move,
that never breathe.
I really like the rain,
I don't know why I do.
Continue reading...
366 · Oct 2016
Do You Think They're Beautiful?
Renee Oct 2016
Do You Think They're Beautiful?
When you look at her
and her tangled dam of string
what do you think of her?
do you think she's beautiful?
with her swollen red lips,
messed up hair,
half lidded eyes,
Do you love her in that moment?

When you look at him
on top of you
eyes lingering hungrily over your body
do you think he's perfect?
do you see his bright eyes and
know that this
is the only man for you?
Do you feel the love when
he traces his
fingers over your thighs
and
tells you he'll take care of you?
Do you
love him when
he leaves you sleeping?

Do you think they're beautiful?
Continue reading...
354 · Jul 2016
Untitled
Renee Jul 2016
Untitled
Sleeping on a loveseat
in a crowded living room
waking up in the morning
tap tap tap on my leg
"You have to babysit," she says,
walking out the door with her husband
My mother, oh my mother
left me here again,
with three kids
I know she has to work,
I know she's got bills to pay
but I wish I had some time to myself
to be 16
like I'll never be again
I want to learn to drive,
I want to catch fireflies at 12 a.m
with bare feet sliding in the dewy grass
I'm only 16 my brain says
no, wait, not even 16
not yet
I want to learn to make my own mistakes
and not have to be an influence
I know this is my life..
but I wish I didn't sleep all the time.
Depressed, anxiety
I really wonder what's wrong with me
I want to love myself
like the love I give to everybody else
I want to get good grades
and kiss the night away
I want to cuddle up in a big warm bed
beside my lovely
but no
I'm sleeping on a loveseat
in a crowded living room
wondering what's wrong with me
to wake up in the morning
to birds singing the same tune.
Continue reading...
354 · Apr 2015
---
Renee Apr 2015
---
You hold my heart in your hands
through all the things we've been
You could take it,
clench your hand,
and let the pieces drop away
or you could hold it.
Do what you wish,
it is yours.
I could stare into your eyes forever and a day
I could hold your hand until my wrist breaks
I could kiss you until the day we're dead
I could love you until the end of time
We'll never know
Maybe we're too young
Maybe your heart is elsewhere
Just know my heart you hold,
my gaze you keep,
my thoughts you occupy,
my dreams you wander.
Continue reading...
353 · Mar 2015
...
Renee Mar 2015
...
I just wanna feel okay
One day
Without hating myself
regretting the things I do
A day without the thought
that I don't matter
I'm insignificant
Just one day
I'm so tired of being hurt
"needing therapy"
not wanting to get out of bed
so tired of people leaving
people assuming
tired of music not helping,
when it's the only thing that ever did,
so tired of no sleep,
dark eyes for days,
from the fight with my mind.
I'm so tired of being me,
and ruining everything I've ever loved,
ever needed,
I'm so tired of being the way I am,
and not changing.
Continue reading...
353 · Dec 2014
Perspective
Renee Dec 2014
Perspective
Why is there a good
in goodbye?
Because there's always a reason behind one.
Everyone will ask you why,
and all you can say is babe,
you don't see things from my perspective.
I could leave,
but never without a reason
Don't hurt me,
don't use me,
don't bother me,
don't come to me crying at 1 a.m
because she isn't me
and I won't leave
there's plenty of reason
reason that you will never see,
because you can't see through my eyes
and I don't have to explain a **** thing to you
I'm not obligated
There's a reason there's a good in goodbye babe
you'll just never see them
#goodbye #perspective
Continue reading...
352 · Jan 2016
The Fire Of Life
Renee Jan 2016
The Fire Of Life
Fire, fire, orange, tall, and bright
Symblance of desire and passion true
When fed by love, potential reach full height.
When we look for knowledge, we learn we knew.
The fire goes out when the clock strikes twelve
the fire's life goes out like the sun at night
Desire found during a dungeon delve,
the fire of life will brighten our blights.
The shock of sadness and grief dims our lights,
makes us worry that we are not alright.
The cold sets in, and reality bites,
the night outs us out, like a firefight.
Our longest lives are fire, tried and true,
we are all fires, even me and you.
Sonnet I wrote for english class ;)
Continue reading...
352 · Jan 2016
Little Bird
Renee Jan 2016
Little Bird
Little bird in the snow
broken wings
middle of nowhere
just like me
broken
ruffled
confused
no one to find her
no one to save
can't fly
too cold to chirp
how can you fly
with broken wings?
Continue reading...
352 · Jan 2015
Days
Renee Jan 2015
Days
I'm in such a slump
can't write
can't read
spend my days on youtube
blaring music too
smiling faces just pass me by
and I don't know what I'm doing.
Just waiting,
missing you,
being lonely,
wanting to put myself into action
but I can't find the strength in me to move
knowing I have no reason
to miss you
I convinced myself otherwise.
Music's too loud,
extremely hot showers
freezing cold
Whatever makes me not feel numb
I've been in a slump lately and had writer's block, I couldn't put things into words.. Still can't.
Continue reading...
351 · Jan 2015
Emotions Held By A String
Renee Jan 2015
Emotions Held By A String
Hurting me:
No one does it better than you
Emotions played
Nights spent crying
Days spent dying
Words said,
that weren't meant to be said
that weren't meant to be heard
that weren't meant to hurt.

Missing you:
I do that a lot
I wish I didn't.
It keeps me awake
Made my own mistakes
regret everything I've said.

You told me she was pretty
and I already knew that,
you told me I was a liar
and that hurt.
you told me I shouldn't care, and honestly...
I shouldn't
but I do
I hurt so much,
and I hate it
So tired of crying and breaking down
so tired of saying it doesn't matter and I'm fine
I can't do this anymore
I can't lose anymore
not that there's anything left to lose.
#pain #tears #crying #hurt
Continue reading...
350 · Mar 2015
I'd Be Fine By Now
Renee Mar 2015
I'd Be Fine By Now
Putting people into the situation
that literally puts them in tears
just thinking about it
isn't going to help it
if it was,
I would be fine by now,
public speaking wouldn't phase me,
I could walk down hallways with my head up
I could make eye contact
I could walk into classrooms alone
I could hang out with the few friends I have
I could talk to people I know
I could pay for my own things without wanting
to stab myself in the throat afterwards,
I could do all these things that seem normal and casual
I could do all of this without crying
I could do all of this without a constricted throat,
and a heart that feels like it's tied down
to my feet
and don't you dare say
it's because I don't try
I've tried
and tried
and tried
Don't you dare say I'm faking it
because this is a personal hell
Continue reading...
348 · Jan 2015
Yet Another One
Renee Jan 2015
Yet Another One
I'm too nice,
in the cruelest way.
I know I'm only making you happy now,
and when you're happy without me,
i'll up and disappear out of your life.
No warning,
no explanation
You'll just be one less
A candle,
that I helped light,
then the match dropped away
Continue reading...
346 · May 2015
-
Renee May 2015
-
I can see a world in your eyes
one that no one will understand
Continue reading...
345 · Jan 2015
Old Photos
Renee Jan 2015
Old Photos
Was going through my saved photos,
found the ones of you and me
the ones of me, you, your best friend, and someone I don't talk to anymore
and god ******* ****
I never knew I could miss someone so much as I do now
I don't know why,
just at the low point of remembering
someone I used to love,
an old best friend of mine,
and a girl I never talked to due to jealousy
It's funny how so much can change in two months.
I never thought,
that I'd get to this point
I'm a disgrace to myself,
I'm not supposed to care,
but when I find an old photo like this,
my heart breaks...
Continue reading...
344 · Jan 2015
December 21st, 2013
Renee Jan 2015
December 21st, 2013
December 21st,
the year of 2013
I made a promise to myself
and I've kept it.
Over a year, I haven't self harmed.
No blade, object have I used to cut my skin.
And I am proud.
Continue reading...
338 · Apr 2015
You Break Your Own Heart
Renee Apr 2015
You Break Your Own Heart
You know,
    I've been thinking
Maybe a little too much
but you realize
people don't care if you leave
people don't care if you disappear
people don't need you
you don't need anyone
You break your own heart sometimes
You make mistakes
and they all see
and they all leave
and when you're alone,
after you think,
you see.
Loneliness is a place
to recollect yourself
even somewhere you don't want to be
even if you don't want to
it's a slow trek,
a long and winding road.
You'll make it though.
Even if you don't think you will
and when you're left with no hope,
just keep going...
you'll find something.
eventually.
Continue reading...
338 · Dec 2015
We are a poem
Renee Dec 2015
We are a poem
A sweet embrace in the kitchen,
A stolen kiss in the hallway
A head buried in a chest on Thursday
With a peck on the forehead

I love you a little more each day
with the small things,
the sweet things you say.
Your little giggle,
on a cold December day,
warms up my heart
and makes me wild

The way you touch me,
it drives me insane.
Leaves my mind whirling
like a hurricane.
Teases, whispered words
Hickeys show territory
Sweet kisses leaving marks
Moans filling your ears

I love you more and more each day
for all things things you do and say,
I hope you see
just how much you mean to me
A freestyle poem tugs at your heart,
because we are a poem,
barely past the start.
Words with a story to tell
but only we know the meaning
we keep our hearts beating
We are a poem
Perverse, joyous, in love
We are a poem
without a means to an end
we are a poem,
only just began.
Continue reading...
337 · Sep 2015
----
Renee Sep 2015
----
There this boy,
His name is Tim
He promises he loves me,
and do I believe him?
Yes,
yes I do believe him,
and I love him too.
He's my world,
my baby,
my everything and more

I've never been happier
and I've never been so loved
I never thought I'd have
the tall boy with black hair
Sometimes, it doesn't even seem fair
someone so amazing
choosing someone like me
Just a little nobody
trying to become somebody

When he kisses my forehead, my nose, my cheek
you can almost hear my heart beat
There's such love in his stares,
only for I.
In his hugs
I find paradise

It's hard to believe
it's been so long
a year since I've known you,
four months since we've been together,
months since I fell in love
I fall in love with you more and more each day
Maybe we said there was no way
but here we are,
yet another day.

It's 9:31 at night
I'm missing you, missing you by my side.
I can't wait to see you,
and see those sweet eyes
I can't wait to kiss you,
and hold you at night

You're the first thought in the morning,
the last in the dusk
And all through the day,
you're wandering my thoughts
You're a dream come true,
an angel sent from heaven
Continue reading...
335 · Feb 2017
Who Am I?
Renee Feb 2017
Who Am I?
Part of me wants to believe
that I'm important,
more important than the dirt we walk on
Part of me says that
I'm the equivalent of the grass
that is shredded in the lawnmower
Which am I?
It depends
maybe on the day,
maybe on the person
but to me
I'm just the wind blowing
on a cold day
that freezes your nose
and numbs your heart
I'm the kind of person
that you don't want to be.
the kind of person
that cries over everything.
The kind of person
that wants to believe she's good
but doesn't feel like she is
Tries, tries, tries but isn't
Who am I?
Who are you?
I'm a whisper
in the night,
overlooked.
the heck is this though
Continue reading...
335 · Mar 2015
Feelings
Renee Mar 2015
Feelings
I always said I'd never get attached again
but I did
oh god I did
and it's been up and down
but I wouldn't change it
some things just happen
and this was one of them

Everyone tells me I have a way with people
I make them leave
and it's true
and I've accepted that
but I don't want you to leave

It's you and me and all of the people,
with nothing to do,
and nothing to prove
to quote my favorite song

I know I tend to just let people see what they deserve
and that's usually not me,
it's better than I
but that's alright.
that's okay.
That's all I'm here to do,
lift you up to the stars,
and wave from the ground,
and you'll not remember the speck of earthly dust
as you're floating in the clouds
Continue reading...
331 · Jan 2015
Can't Stop You
Renee Jan 2015
Can't Stop You
I'm sorry I'm not good enough
Can't save you from the comfort of wanting to die
I can't stop you from putting those pills in your mouth
Can't save you from the hell of a broken heart
Hell, I can't even help myself.

I can't stop you from hating me
I can't stop you from telling everyone how bad I am
I can't stop crying anymore,
i'm so tired of breaking down.
Hell, I'm never going to stop.

I'm sorry I'm not a good friend,
I'm sorry I couldn't make you stay
I'm sorry to the groups of people I've annoyed
I'm sorry to everyone
Hell, I'm never going to stop.
Continue reading...
330 · Sep 2015
A Mother's Love?
Renee Sep 2015
A Mother's Love?
What happened to a mother's love
What happened to a mother's faith
What happened to kisses at night,
an "I love you" now and then
What happened to "I'm proud of you"
Not another demand,
not another command
Not another choosing sides.
I'm your daughter
Maybe not your favorite,
maybe not what you wanted your girl to be
But I'm still supposed to be your daughter
Your "spitting image"
but now all I am it seems
is a disappointment,
someone not in your dreams
Continue reading...
328 · Feb 2017
I Am Not a Poet
Renee Feb 2017
I Am Not a Poet
I am not a poet.
I may write poems
but I am not a poet.
Poets speak pretty words.
I speak in a tongue no one knows,
not even me.
I am not a poet.
I am a girl,
with unspoken words
who gazes at trees.
I am a girl
with red hair and
watery eyes
but I,
I am not a poet.
I am not a poet.
Continue reading...
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