I hate the ex hes such a *****......
I try and try to please him but cant understand what makes him tick..

hes mad *** I didn't turn on the light for the lizards...
if that's all he can find to be mad at me ******* bring on the blizzard...

I know hes not the one I want nor who I want to love again...
I know I need to find a new man one whos not such a ***** and gonna be so petty that they start a fight the minute they walk in...

im glad he showed me that I really don't like his personality....
I want someone who loves me for me!!!

Wow being sober for such a short time...
and theres so much I want to do and want to try....
and theres no way anyone can change my reasoning to why...

I want to help others who are worse off....or help animals who get abandoned by their owners and are dumped off...
I want to find a job that is world  changing..
to be of service and start alittle piece of the mending...

But I know I can only take small steps and not get over whelmed or it will all fall apart...just take my time and enjoy life and all it has to offer and learn to enjoy things like beautiful art....

its scary but fun ....just seems like life has had to restart.

still sober just chugging along.,,,
never knew I could do it and sober and keep going on...

thank god the ex isn't bugging me
and pretty much has let it die as it is to be.....

im grateful for his help to get me this way.....
and will repay him somehow soon one day....

don't like how emotional it makes me'


but if sobriety is that way...
who am I to say differently....

love the ex for helping me gets sober..
but hate what a ****** he is....



do love for helping get right tho.

its my birthday and in like over 15 yrs ive never been sober...


But I am today........finally.....can start doing things the way normal people do....
im just emotional and don't like that I get so emotional .....but I guess when you've lived one way for so long its hard at first .....but I will do it..
I have to.


But no gifts today.....only gift is to my self and that's the best gift of all...!!!

when I was asleep. my phone fell between the cushions of the couch.
little did I know it wasn't safe wedged in that pouch.

I had the skinny girl go under it to fetch it out....
only to soon learn my phone was broken and she wasn't able to get it out!

we ended up moving the couch to get it from the back,,,,
when it was in my hand the face was all broken and cracked.

now im sad cant even text anymore.....
im so depressed now.....
this week ***** for sure!

I wish I felt differently about either of you....
but the sad truth is ...
I can see the good in a lot that you do.