I wander through the desolate streets
Remembering what I've always been taught to do

It's been passed down
Through generation to generation
Bloodline to bloodline
Taught to every child: boy, girl, black, white and everything in between
Stay still and say nothing

I walk passed the liquor store
Thinking about drinking away all my troubles
I see the folk standing outside
Hollering about how they're going to gain the money they need by robbing
I enter the liquor store buy myself a ***** and remember
Still still and say nothing

I continue my walk
Bottle in hand as I drink it down just a little
I walk passed two children
A black boy and a black girl
Yelling out "Where is my mama?"  "I can't find my mama!"
I see the dealer wave them over promising safety
I stop and take a second to think
I let the ***** get to my head and remember
Stay still and say nothing

I take my walk toward an alleyway
I see a young girl surrounded by large men
They approach her and seem to intimidate her
She looks at me with discomfort
But I don't notice, I'm too **** drunk to notice
I can't even hear her yell out
When I turn the corner and look back because I remember
Stay still and say nothing

I do just that and return home
Fall on my bed and finish every drop of that *****
Then I fall asleep on my back and die by choking on my own *****
Stay still and say nothing

Within the fire
There is destruction
Burning the homes
Of the destitute souls
Crawling and begging for death

"Answer me!" they say, "Come down and cool our tongues."
Though no one comes
They stay alone in there sadness
Empty in the dark
Gritting their teeth as they try to crawl their way out
But they cannot reach nor feel relief
They never will again

Within the fire
There is light
Guiding the way home
To those who search for it
Returning back to open arms

"Never will I fear again!" they say, "I will never thirst again."
They take feast
At a seat amongst the highest table
Their images clear and bright
Taking the food in which they enjoy but no longer need
Feeling no pain and suffering
They never will again

The world is on fire
Fire leads the way
The way to destruction or the way home
The way home is wide open
Open to those that use the fire to find it

I think as humans
That we were meant for more
Than we had bargained for
That we are worth more
Than we could ever see ourselves be worth
I think that we are simply meant to be
More than human

Think of being just a human
What are you when you are human?
Maybe you are a slave to the idea of money
A slave to the idea of the approval of others
A slave to the weakness of your own flesh
Or maybe you are just a slave to emptiness

As a human you are
weak
pathetic
a nerd
a dumb ****
a fat girl
a queer
a problem
a flaw that spreads from a speck to a blemish on what was once pure

We were meant for more than this
We are here to love and to be loved
We are here to be slaves to joy and love
No one can ever escape from slavery
So one should be a slave to something more powerful than oneself

We are more than human
We are purpose
We are children
We are the brothers and sisters put here on this Earth
To love God and through Him love one another

We were meant to be better than what we are
And many of us have lost the way
Maybe one day they will be found
And maybe then they can become more than human

There are many ways that you can define me:
Womanizer
Selfish
Crazy
Distasteful
Despicable
I will tell you this that how you define me is not me

I am privileged to say
That I can define myself
That everybody has the right to define themselves
But the problem is
We are blinded by our own definitions of self

We parish by our own definitions
We stare at ourselves and our pasts only make us see
Disappointment
Ugliness
Self-loathing
Sadness
Pain

Pain is the one we've grown so accustomed to
An old phrase says it is best to feel pain
Instead of nothing
But I would rather keep feeling joy forever
Rather than feel a needle of pain again

I feel hollowness
I feel the pain of my past
The darkness of my past
Reach up and consume me
Drag me in and tear me apart
Piece by piece
Until I think I know my definition of self
And I feel numb

I ponder my thoughts
Try to see beyond
I feel sad and alone
But then...

I see a bunch of figures
Bright
Peaceful
Joyous
Without the pain
Though they were once like me

I asked them what they did
How they saved themselves
From this pain
They lead me to the Truth
And left it wide open for me

I feel calm
At peace
At rest with myself

I remember how I once defined myself
My past
My failures
My sins
I now know that it doesn't define me

I am a child
I am a follower
I am a disciple
I am beautiful
I am perfected
I am an image
I am the definition of me that I have always wanted

Once upon a time
There was a little girl
Who grew up as happy as can be
She laughed a lot
Played with her friends
And had a father a mother
Who loved her very much

One day though
She began to see all was wrong
All was very wrong
And decided to lock herself
In a castle tower

In the castle tower
She was very lonely
She longed for company
For people to come see her
To ask how her day was
And let her know that they cared

She decided that she was
Going to let someone in

One day a man came to
The castle tower
He was a handsome young man
And he promised her
That he would care for her
That he would love her
And that he will fulfill
What she lacks

She pondered her decision and decided
To let him in

He cared for her a first
He made her whole
Made her happy
But one day he turned on her
And he ***** her
He ***** her of everything she had
He drained her of her body
And took from her body
Every amount of happiness she ever had

The man left her
Battered, bruised, bleeding
She could barely stand up
She cried for help
But there was no one there
To help her

Over time she began to heal
Her bruising and bleeding went away
But she always had a limp
A limp that could never heal

She found that she missed the man
She missed the way he cared for her
She missed the way he loved her
She missed the way he held her
And calmed her fears

One day she decided
That she couldn't take
How isolated she was anymore
She wanted to find someone just like him

She decided that she was
Going to let someone in

One day another man came to
The caste tower
He promised her as much
As the first man did and more
He convinced her that he would
Make her overflow
With the things
That she lacks

She pondered her decision and decided
To let him in

He took care of her first
Held her consistently
Even helped try
To fix her limp the best he could
The limp became frustrating to him
So he ***** her

The **** was worse than before
He cut her body with knives
While he pumped her
And made her scream in agony
All she felt during the ****
Was the humiliation
And shame that it caused her

He left her
Forever scarred
Forever battered
And forever ******
She never looked the same
And could never walk again

She decided that
There was no good
And decided to lock herself
In the castle tower
Forever

One day another man came to
The castle tower
He was a genuine
With a kind soul
And kept calling her out
To let him in
But no matter how many times he called
She would never let him in

If I am not there
Then I don't exist
But even when I am there
I don't exist

The hollowness that surrounds
My existence is ever-present
Constantly pushing and pulling
Tugging me in unforeseen directions

This way
That way
Rip him apart
Please stop

I gotta find a place to run
I gotta find a place somewhere
I have to exist, I can't disappear
Please let me exist

Don't let me disappear

I can take your body wherever
I want it to go
I slap you around
Kick you down
You come back begging me for more

You're lovesick
If you knew ****
Then you'd know it's best
To listen when I say to leave me alone
But you can't comprehend
And don't understand
That I have lips of deceit

I control you
I'm the darkness
I'm the monster
That you can only dream
I'm on another level
I am the ultimate
I am the superior being

I **** the minds
Of everyone that I find
That opens the door for me
I step inside
See the pathetic insecurity cry
And I hit it and hit it and hit it and hit it

I hit it until it screams louder!
I hit it until it bleeds from its face!
I hit it until it wishes it were dead!
I hit it until it's in its place!

I don't control you because I just come up
I'm the darkness because I was created this way
I'm a monster because I wish I wasn't this way
I'm on another level because I've been wronged
By the wretched vermin that have been built

You're just like the rest!
A liar!
A faker!
A loser!
An idiot!
A ****!
You should beg to be in my presence
I am the ultimate
The superior being

You can't run
I've got you
I own you
I possess you
You can't go anywhere
My dear dear there's no escaping it
I'm here
You're only here to die
So stay with me