A series of loves
Then - never good enoughs,
My life went on this way,
I thought each time,
I'll stay.
Driven by hormones,
Blinded by my trauma,
I kept building, recreating
Relationship - drama.
First I'd desperately fall,
For one or for them all,
I would try to please,
For dopamine-increase.
After some decades,
Many disappointments,
Looking at my pains,
Behind all the enjoyments.
Chemicals at play,
Needing sugar rush,
Thought my heart was longing
For a tender touch...
Though it was my brain.
Making me feel lonely,
Yet again insufficient,
Hurting so many,
On my way...
When will it end?
I need to stop.
And to sit with
What will come up.