I wish I was bitter about you.
Then maybe I wouldn't cry so much.
Because right now I still love you. And sometimes you act like you still love me, but I am not sure if you actually do. Your late night phone calls but lack of effort in person has got me all confused. My emotions range from hurt, sad, depressed, annoyed, angry, all the way back to hopeful. It always lands on hopeful in the end. But wouldn't it be so much easier if i just felt bitterness. All of that confusion gone, just a little bit of bitterness in my heart. I think that would be easier.
But the problem is you haven't hurt me enough for me not to love you. So I care about you in ways that you don't even know. And that doesn't just go away.

With Love even now,
Lost Girl

I want to yell and scream
scream at the top of my lungs
so the whole world knows
what you did, how you hurt me

I want to hit and kick
give you a black eye
so you will know
know the pain I feel

I want to stop loving you
not care anymore
so that maybe you can stop
stop breaking my heart

I don't feel hate though
my lungs won't scream
my fists won't clinch
because even after all this
**I still love you

Darling, don't forget,
    or regret,
       the depths of this pain.

Wild flowers bloom
   only after
       it's been pouring rain.