Two shots fired. Pop, pop Everything slows.
I can feel my heartbeat throughout my entire body, everywhere, right down to my toes.

Tell me, have you seen a bullet penetrate the skin? Rip through flesh?
I hope for your sake that your answer is no. One push and one release. Crimson liquid. Flowing fast So bright, so fresh.

Smell the iron. Its scent: rich and thick.
How would I describe it consistency? Slick.

I told myself before that I wouldn't ever fall in love again...
And then I did it.

But how can you fall in love if you don't believe in love
Or do I just not want to believe in love
My heart drops and bleeds for love
It feels so good but not when you need the love
It hurts so bad after you eat, sleep and breathe that love.
....
I get attached and become something of a mother.
My feelings get hurt easily and I run for cover.
I block out any and everyone but I know I'll run back to you.
Because I've opened up and no one else really knows what to do.

But then you shut me out as well, I've officially pushed you away.
Its like i can never do the right things, I can never express what I want to say.
Last week I told myself I'd never fall in love again.
But yesterday, I felt it in my heart but I feel like I committed sin.

Because today, I'm back at last week, where I wish I didnt have feelings.
I wish I could tear down my emotions without holding up the ceiling.
I wish you were here to wipe my tears but I know that you don't want to.
I pushed away everyone that I could always cry and run to.

She looked at me, and said
"Inside I am so lonely, and dead"
Her blue eyes, the same as mine
Both of our lips, desperate for a smile
Hands are shaking, we both know
Our hands, are the lonely one's not meant to hold.

We stared at each other
Longing to connect
We both know, there is no meeting in the middle
"Last year really done me in" she said
"Now there are more days I wish I were dead".

"Oh dear soul, I've really lost my place"
Her hand, my hand touching
Cold like glass
We both pull back, alone again.

"We are not friends"! She screamed
This is not what it seems
It would be wrong of me to stay
We break the mirror, and walk away.

They pointed out my flaws
This life didn't seem worth living anymore.
All those judgements and pointed fingers,
It's a getting a little too much to handle.
Being me seemed more like a crime,
And not a right of mine.
All those pretty faces and perfect bodies,
Are slowly gnawing at me
And life doesn't seem like a pleasure anymore.

Endless months fell
like sand between my fingertips
as I tried to smooth out the creases
that covered my bedsheets
before I realised
that you were not a crease in my bedsheets,
you were the gust of wind that put them there.

That I know..

You are very much hurting everyday
You feel like you just can't get away
Tears of blood cloud in your eyes till you can't see
Hurting and hurting longing to be free

Tears congregate and form into a puddle
Silently you are masking the pain, the struggle
All these while you are suffering in silence
Quietly resisting the emotional violence

You lift your eyes, but dimmed with grief
Your sorrow lends but only weak relief
You die everyday, you are wearied
It's like you're dressed at the funeral of regret, not yet buried

The stabbing pain you don't wish to bare
Nothing could make you feel better even if you share
You are gathering the strength you have in your soul
To beat the drums, feed the fire with coal

You are dipping your pain in inkwell heart
And scrawling out what you are feeling
Those words becoming the tourniquet
You don't know when your heart will stop bleeding