what fear did she feel when she was told that her womb would carry such a deity?
did she feel the fear that my heart did,
after he used my body as a play thing?
how heavy did her chest feel at the thought of loving a holy human being?

how long did she spend deconstructing her own virginity and actions?
mulling over what she may have blocked out of her young memory

did you feel violated, my dear, while you scrutinized what had happened to your body?
did the lack of violence scare you?
how frightening was the son of God, lodged into your fragile womb?

oh how i long to hold you
reassure you that you are not the grime that you feel deep in your gut
you are merely a girl, carrying the burden of the world’s greatest gift
but you never as much even volunteered

apple of your eye,
the place to rot and die
round plump skin fetishized
ready for the taking

i’m non-sentient in your view
nothing more than flesh to hold
soft, just ripe enough to eat

forever fresh off the tree
until i fall free

time melts into itself as this vessel loses its ability to distinguish between zones

where are we ?

am i with you ? are you with me ?
have my claws sunken in deep enough, yet ?
do your muscles ache from the words that have been screamed at you ?

a tongue laced with poison has sliced through your chest
but all i’ve done is watch you bleed

you’re quick to comfort the goblin beside you
their words holding confusing messages as they give their lackluster performance of how to help a friend

there’s no applause

i have to wake up in 3 1/2 hours.
all for something id rather die than do.
most of my days are spent with nausea and fear. of what, i will never know.

how do i have so many thoughts, and yet none at all, all at once ?
how do i make it stop ?
i can’t distinguish between different thoughts and everything is starting to bleed together.

the tires are slipping and i can’t help but to long for them to finally give out.
one day they’ll completely give way.
one day it’ll all come crashing down for good.

i cant be here anymore, but i cant be there either.
nowhere feels fit.
heaven sounds nice.
but i cant be sure that im making it there.
too much has happened. ive happened.
does heaven hold places for goblins ?

i dont know what it feels like anymore.
maybe it’s a Boulder laid out across my chest.
maybe a parrot perched on my shoulder.
maybe its a dunk tank and the target was finally hit. but i cant get out. the surface is further and further away.
but the glass is still there.

I don’t know how but you’ve managed to become the protagonist in my own story
In theory, I’m still the main character, but not a protagonist by any means
Maybe that’s why I keep clinging onto you
Because if you’re not there
then where will my story go?

Loudly the sun makes his presence known, all previous despair melted away. The clouds part to allow for his glorious light to shine through them. His joyous grace never ceases to amaze her. He shines through her, as well, whether he sees it or not. The comfort he unknowingly provides to those deserted by society, allows for her to rest easy. When the stars shine through the dark wool blanket that replaces the bright sky, and he is forced back into hiding, she tries to be the solace that he can’t be in that moment.

She folds. They will always prefer the buoyancy of the Sun.

She will always prefer him. On those late nights, he does his best to shine his light in her direction. In return, she does her best to pull the tides with all of the strength that she can muster. Few have seen them together. Fewer know of their admiration for one another.

There's a thing in the reflection

Two beady eyes shoved deep into black
sockets, stabbing through my temple

There's a hunch in their back,
but not by choice

A collar wraps tightly around
the throat, creating deep holes for
inconsolable truths to slip out


I woke to him hanging from the
ceiling; ever constant blank expression plastered

The wire is wrapped around my body

We have never spoken a word
to one another. forever inseparable

A gentle kiss on the forehead,
and suddenly the floor seems much less cold